It never fails, you always seem to find yourself pregnant at the same time as someone famous. So, you watch their pregnancy as you are watching your own. They aren’t gaining as much weight as you or they aren’t as sick as you are. They are still traveling and living their best life while you are at home hugging the toilet or laying down because you are simply too tired to adult at the moment.
I can’t speak for anyone else but with my first daughter, I read every book imaginable. Asked for advice and words of wisdom from everyone and followed other pregnant moms on social media. BIG MISTAKE. I’m not saying some of that stuff wasn’t sound advice but every pregnancy is different… even two of your own!
It’s not surprising, then, that life after the baby is born is different for everyone as well.
Never heard of this? Well it’s the months right after the baby where you are sure you will go insane at any minute. Where sleep is a luxury that you are never afforded and food is something you grab in passing.
Working out? Who has the time or the energy for that? Yet, someone on social media is back in the gym the day of their 6 week checkup from their Dr. going hard for their “Snapback”. Their meals are nutritious and delicious, they are breastfeeding while getting their makeup done and posting about their amazing date nights and childless girls’ trips.
This is not a blog for the moms who are able to have their original body back or better after the birth of their child. Nor, is this the blog for people who have personal chefs, meal prep folks, trainers, makeup artists, nannies on a regular.
This blog is for moms like me. Moms who looked at the people I am talking about above and thought they were somehow slacking. See, this if the first real problem with motherhood. We CANNOT compare our journey to any other mothers’. Sure we can relate, might even find similarities but we are all built differently, physically and emotionally.
Hell, if I know, 13 months later and I’m crawling back from my original “snap-back” damn sure wasn’t a lasting snap-back. (I say lasting because while I was breastfeeding the weight stayed off…. the minute I stopped… babbbbyy. It’s like my body said “You get pound, you get a pound, you get a pound, every body part gets a pound!”)
But here are 5 tips I suggest to get you on your way:
- STOP LOOKING AT CELEBRITY BODIES AFTER THEY HAD A BABY! (not all but most) They have help sis. They may have a nanny, chef, trainer or all of the above. Stop comparing your snap-back to anyone else’s. Everyone’s body is different and THAT IS OK! I REPEAT —- PUT SOCIAL MEDIA DOWN! If you aren’t in a place to congratulate a sister for bouncing back and keeping it off because you are just simply bouncing, stay off of social media; it will only make you feel worse. You will inevitably try and compare yourself to them and you have to realize not everyone has the same 24 hrs. That old adage is false. I promise you, my 24 hrs look WAAAYYY different than Beyoncé’s.
- It took you 10 months to gain the weight, you won’t lose it in 5 days. Pace yourself and make attainable goals. I cannot stress this enough. It is SO easy to put on weight but losing it the natural way without fad diets is much more difficult. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Take it day by day and if you get off the path, have a glass of wine, test your breastmilk, and carry on. It’s a new day tomorrow.
- If you can, I highly encourage breastfeeding. Fed is best, I get it and I don’t feel like a breastfeeding debate…. However, breastfeeding DOES burn insane amounts of calories. Look there is nothing wrong with a 2 for 1, in fact I LIVE for a good 2 for 1. Breastfeeding has so many beautiful qualities, if you are able, I highly recommend it. I don’t do mom shaming so this is not meant to bash any woman who simply cannot for physical or work reasons. This is for those who can or may be considering it. Not only is it a great way to nourish your baby as long as you are putting good things into your body BUT it also serves as a great way to burn additional calories.
- Make smart dietary choices but don’t fad diet because you will lose weight fast but gain it right back after the diet is over. I am NOT a fan of dieting or all these skinny teas. Not knocking anyone’s hustle but I haven’t found one that actually lasts long term without side effects. A lifestyle change may be needed to shock your body and help accelerate weight loss. Some may choose to go vegan or pescatarian. Others may choose to just cut back on carbs. Whatever your choice of dietary changes is, make sure it’s reasonable and attainable to your life. Also, make sure its something that the family can partake in. It is so hard to be on a different dietary plan than your family and with you still being in the post-partum phase of life, any little kurflunkle can cause a rift between you and your partner. Try to make them a part of this lifestyle change and hold each other accountable.
- Sex & Exercise… Lots of it! Now I consider sex to be exercise but it all depends on how you do it. My girl, Ashley, has some great recommendations & and I have a few myself for when you are breastfeeding and trying to get it on. However you choose to do it, sex is a great “workout” that provides dual pleasure; burning calories and relieving stress. Don’t feel obligated to one workout or trying to stick to workouts that worked for everyone else. Find what YOU like and it will make it much easier for you to find an exercise regimen that you can stick with.
Hopefully these tips remind you that a healthy, happy, satisfying body after baby is a marathon, not a sprint. Take your time, enjoy all the moments and most importantly remember you are a bad ass mom who has given birth to an amazing child.
Beauty starts on the inside and is reflected on the outside!
Love & Light,
Mommi Trese, Unapologettically.