Remember when all the MommiNation Mombassadors made a video about suicide prevention last summer? Well, that was cuz lil ole me had a little moment of weakness and self-doubt. BUT I’M HERE & I’m doing much better! Here’s a little bit about how and why I was able to get through my storm. I didn’t think that in the midst of full-time motherhood, that I would find my outlet, something to keep me sane. But I did, and it’s been so rewarding ever since.
Last year, I had just left my full-time medical assistant job to be home again, and Lord knows, that was a huge weight off of my shoulders. Managing working at a hospital, being a mommy at the crack of dawn and immediately after work, and trying to still be a good Wife, was not easy to juggle for me. I was short with everyone, co-workers included (but some of them deserved it) and I paid for it, in snacking and overeating. I left my job on May 30th and a few days later, the Fit Mommi Challenge began, I started hitting the gym aggressively, going 4-5 days a week, and eating much better… Well, that was a year ago and I haven’t given up yet!
LOVE AT FIRST SWEAT
I had found my passion again, my mommy outlet. I am no newbie to working out, I’ve been an athlete my whole life. But that Mom transformation hit me like a semi-truck. Working out felt good again! That first bead of sweat made me feel like I was pushing myself like I was getting somewhere. And before I knew it, clothes started to look good on me again. I could climb stairs and not get winded. And I didn’t desire junk, except on CHEAT DAY!!! Because let me tell you something right quick… depression sucks! Adding my weight gain and laziness to the equation, only made it worse. When I got to the point when I was having full-on panic attacks just to get my scrub top on, because it was getting tighter, I knew I had to make a change! Talk about, breaking out in a full sweat, because I couldn’t get my arms in comfortably and it was more of a struggle to get them tops over the twins! NIGHTMARE, at 6 am every day.
BUT… I’m not perfect. I slip up sometimes. And ever since the COVID shut down, my kids’ snacks start to look pretty good, some days. Not to mention, that trick depression knocked back on my door. But I have to remember, I’m still human at the end of the day… and I’ll buy a new box of Gushers, kids, CHILL!
IT’S NOT SELFISH
My kids are my world, and that’s when I saw the issue… I give, give, give, to my kids daily, and I had nothing to help me decompress after or during a rough day. So I HAD to take my fitness seriously, for myself. I knew, that I couldn’t be myself at 100% every day if I hated how I felt and looked every day. Mommy’s feelings matter too. I had to stop thinking of it as selfish, and remember who the heck I am! You can be fit, fine and a fabulous Mother, all at the same time. ‘Cuz honey, I’m 26 years old, and I’m gonna be all that! Y’all will see me looking GOODT at the PTO Meetings.
Since last year’s Fit Mommi Challenge, I have dropped 45 + lbs, and I can say that proudly. I worked my butt off! Well not off, I’m trying to get my booty in full effect now. But you get what I mean! I am trying to find ways to navigate through my depression, I still have my moments. But I haven’t gotten back on the roof since last year, thanks be to God. As Mommies, we have to remember to keep ourselves up and just because we have tiny humans to look after, it doesn’t mean that we have to put ourselves on the back burner. I refuse to continue to be a good Mom, who neglects herself because that’s not being a good Mom at all. Take care of yourself, the babies will are the change in you and they’ll appreciate the new version of Mommi, that they’re getting now. Thank you to the great minds, mothers and women who are behind Mommi Nation! What you’re doing is so amazing, this platform has done so much for my life, and I couldn’t be more grateful for you all!
MommiNation for life!
Mommi Jeniellsa Hill
ShanayeJuly 31, 2020 6:49 pm
So proud of J! Beautifully written ❤️