Although I have three younger siblings, I’m my mother’s only child. I was certain I would follow in her footsteps and only have one. My thoughts of having another baby after eight years was straight up and down NEGATIVE! To be frank, the lack of relationship between my daughter and her biological dad played a role too. (That is a story for a blog by itself!) You know the saying never say never? Well, it wasn’t until I analyzed the bond between my daughter and her stepdad, which is the ultimate step daddy stepdaughter goals by the way, that I became less negative to the thought of having another baby after eight years.
Jealousy or no jealousy
When we broke the news of expecting another baby to my family, it was such an excitement. My mother was putting some pressure on us for another grand baby, so you can imagine her joy. Then came the story of when I was a baby. Wait a minute! I thought the new baby announcement was supposed to be the talk of the day…not me! Jokingly, I was reminded of how I did the unthinkable when my cousin was born. My mother still has no clue how little one-year-old Roxi (me) climbed into the crib when my newborn cousin was sleeping and got her wet. Hey, it wasn’t me! I will surely blame it on that cloth diaper!
After hearing that story I got a little nervous. I started to question if I could really handle another baby after eight years and if it was the right timing. But then I felt better remembering that God is in control and my oldest child had been asking for a sibling for a while now. She expressed herself through drawings and creative writing. When she got the news of ‘big sister to be’ she was excited, but I could tell there was more. Her words verbatim “I felt like you and daddy wouldn’t care about me anymore and focus on the baby. But when I met Saige I loved her so much and you both loved and cared about me the same.” (I asked her while writing this blog.) I am so thankful her truth is the opposite of her mom (toddler Roxi) and jealousy is not in her vocabulary.
The benefits of having another baby after eight years
Reassuring my oldest daughter of our love prepared her for the new baby. Also the big age gap of eight years attributed to her lack of jealousy. There are disadvantages that comes with a big age gap in siblings, but thank God I have not seen much between my two girls just yet. There are many advantages as well. I will share some benefits I experienced since having my second child after eight years.
With a big age gap between my first and second child, I was afforded the opportunity to see a side of my oldest daughter which I never saw before. Her protective and caring characteristics for her baby sister blossomed beautifully practically overnight. When Saige was a newborn and friends came by to see the baby, big sister went straight into protective mode. Listen, she watched her little sister like a hawk…literally! There is no baby monitor system that compares to this kid. We give her a five-star rating for best security.
2. Helping Hands
Not only is big sister protective but she is super duper helpful. She takes initiative to help with the daily care of her little sister. From grabbing items, changing diapers to making bottles and more. She is the best little helper. She knows it all and shows you too. Let me add that her tips to get Saige to listen also works most of the time!
3. Devoted Time
Having my kiddos far apart is a major plus in being able to have devoted time with each child. My first daughter had me to herself for four years. She was already little miss independent and off to school by the time her little sister came along. While she is in school, Saige gets all the needed attention. However, when little sister naps or is off to bed at nights I get to reconnect with Nyomi by doing her favorite things such as; playing legos, playstation (that’s with daddy) watching a movie or just laying down to chit chat.
4. On Call Playmate
My girls constantly have a playmate and they go hard. From dress ups to dancing to pretend play and more. Little sister also learns a lot from her big sister. You name it Saige copies everything that her big sister does. Nyomi loves gymnastics and is always doing cartwheels and handstands all over the house. Little Saige is right behind her doing everything she does. Now Saige is trying to balancing on practically anything she can get her feet on or off. I get so much enjoyment watching them play and learn from each other.
5. Sibling Love
The bond between my two girls is beyond anything I could have imagined. Big sister Nyomi shows great love and care for her little sister and Saige returns the love right back to her big sister. While Nyomi is counting down the hours at school to return home to see her little sister, Saige is there calling her name throughout the day. I wish you could see and hear the daily excitement but picture this. The moment Saige hears the door opens she’s yelling, screaming, giggling as she dashes off to greet her big sister with big hugs and Nyomi is there with open arms just grinning away. I tell you it melts my heart every time. They are the best gift for each other. I am so thankful for they’re loving bond and pray that it continues to grow as they get older.
It is perfect
While at times I might wonder why after eight years I decided to start over with another baby. I know now it was the right time for our family. God knows best and His timing is always perfect. We all enjoy this little love bugs sweet, wild and curious energy. We are so blessed! Remember no matter the age gap between your children once there is love everything falls into place!
Do you have a large or small age gap between your kids? What has it been like for you? Are the kids getting along or not so much?
Do share…I would love to hear from you in the comments below!
One Love Mommi Roxi!
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