I give good love
I’ll buy your clothes
I’ll cook your dinner too
Soon as I get home from work
I’ll pay your rent
Your faithful lover
Soon as I get home, soon as I get home from work
Girl, I’ll treat you right
And I’ll never lie
For all that it’s worth
I give good love
~As Soon As I Get Home by Babyface
I know those lyrics instantly took you back to the time when you played that song on repeat. I bet you were thinking… I sure would love a man like that, or maybe why can’t my man be more like that. In that song Babyface spoke to what every woman wants in a man; that will love her, care for her, work, pay the bills and ultimately put her first. Heck, in all honesty, writing those lyrics in this moment, I am totally thinking, yeah where is he for me? In the Christian world we call a man like this Boaz. There is so much more to Boaz then what this song says, but for the sake of this conversation if a man can get all of that right, I’m pretty sure he inhibits all of the other qualities that Boaz has. But, the real question of the day is
Are you the woman a man who embodies this song would want?
Yep, I said it. Are you the woman a man like this would be attracted to? I listen to women all the time, talking about how they want a man with a decent job, they want a real man, they want a man who is patient and compassionate, they want a man with this or that; but they can’t offer a man the same in return.
As women we need to learn a few things about how to be the woman this kind of man is drawn to. If we are unemployed, are 100% fake, lack patience or compassion, don’t or can’t cook, unfaithful, unable to spoil and love our man the way he needs it then how could we require a man to do same?
We are in a society that is all about self, self-focused, self-seeking, and self-centered that we seem to forget or not realize that it isn’t all about self. We have to give in order to receive. No one wants to bring a complete package to a situation when they aren’t going to get the same or more in return.
Here’s the real truth,
Majority of us ladies have jobs, cars, our own places to live and everything that one would think is required to be considered a successful adult. There is a growing number of us who are single moms and are managing full time jobs, making decent salaries, and being a full-time parent, but none of these characteristics are what Babyface references to what men are seeking in the song.
They are looking for something deeper than a woman who can survive in life. They are looking for more than a woman who can navigate the adult world. They require more than a good package. They are looking for substance, they are looking for respect, and they are looking for a woman that builds them up as a man, a woman who I hate to say it like this but knows her place. No, I’m not talking about traditional gender roles, I am talking about a woman who understands what it means to be a woman and what it means to be a man and allows him to be the man in their relationship/home. A woman who doesn’t fight for her independence, but is constantly building her interdependence of their relationship. A woman who doesn’t put others before him, and others in their business, instead, is mature and wise enough to approach him and work ALL problems out.
The man who gives his woman everything Babyface sang about, a man who embodies all of the qualities of Boaz is looking for a REAL WOMAN! So before you consider posting on social media, or having girl talk about what you want in a man; I would suggest you to first take a hard look at yourself and assure you are a woman that a man like that would want.
If you don’t know, then find some men who are the type of men you seek and ask them; but be ready for the truth they give you. If you know you’re not that woman YET and you’re ready to Let Go of whatever is keeping you from becoming her then get in therapy, hire a life coach do WHATEVER you have to do to Release and THRIVE because your good man is waiting for you, Sis.
Forever Your Growth Partner!
Ms. Jennifer Pink
“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But, nothing is as painful as staying stuck where you do not belong.” ~ N.R. Narayana Murthy