The Oxford dictionary says that submission is the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person. It can also mean humility; meekness!  Soooooo, I’m sure that means, cooking dinner, fixing plates, washing clothes, ironing clothes, at his or her beckoning call right????? Hello, I can’t hear anyone!!!!!  Someone answer please, before my husband gets home and dinner needs to be cooked, clothes need to be washed and ironed, the house needs to be cleaned; before he needs me to say “yes sir, whatever you like”, before he demands me to get him a bottle of water, before he demands me to loosen his tie and prepare him for his evening shower……I NEED ANSWERS!!!!!!…..That’s submission RIGHT OR WRONG?????

That may have been a little extreme, but don’t get me wrong I love to cook and I do, I fix my hubby’s plate, and  I clean the house.  In fact when I start cleaning it is a love hate relationship for my husband.  Why? Because that means I am throwing things away, and he has to clean too…hahahahaha!!!  I wash clothes but if I’m busy sometimes he washes the clothes, cooks and cleans.  That is my love language!!!

NOW, at times if I want to cater to my husband and make him feel special there is definitely nothing wrong with preparing him for a nice shower and saying  “yes sir,” hmmmmm. I will save that for another blog about, bedroom intimacy and spontaneity , CATCH THAT IF YOU CAN!  On a serious note, submission is much more than doing something for someone.  In my opinion, submission comes from the heart. If you are looking for another great read, take the time to go over to and read misconceptions of the “s” word.

HOW????….GLAD YOU ASKED

Sooooooo…here we go let’s do this:

Let’s be honest a lot of women, when we first hear the word submission, we think in our head “Hold up, I am not going to be nobody’s slave, he is not going to tell me what to do, I am my own woman, He ain’t my daddy.   Well, I’m sorry to inform you ladies that most of that is true and if you are willing to allow yourself to submit, your life will be easier.

By now I may have lost some of you but if you keep reading you may understand my point of view.  Well let’s look at the scripture that most people reference when they talk about submission.

Ephesians 5:22-24

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Okay is that it ? You mean to tell me that I really do have to submit to him?….uggghhhhhhhh, this is not what I signed up for when I decided to get married!!!!!…..Well get over it….haaaaa…Yes it’s okay to submit to your husband.  We are not single anymore, we don’t have to “try” to show our independence or our strength.  Men want to care for us and they do not want a woman who acts like another man in marriage.  It’s a honor to submit to my husband and portray my love to him by allowing him to lead our home and to lead me in our marriage!

How am I a submissive wife?

I have learned what drives my husband,  what makes him happy, what makes him upset and I learned how to love him…I am still learning as marriage is a never ending learning process.  But I am much better than I was in the beginning …I learned how to manage my self-control and put my pride aside. It’s been a journey, because that means I have had to learn how to SHUT UP, when I really want to say what is on my mind and give him the business, or when I feel like it will work better my way.  This, can truly be hard when you are both strong-minded individuals.  But I would not trade it for anything.  Submitting my pride keeps me grounded and humbles me.  It strengthens our marriage and it also builds my character and my resilience.

I have learned to understand what he needs in order for me to love him. My husband is a combat veteran that suffers from PTSD.  Loving him may be different from another woman because of what he has experienced in his life as a military officer in the military.  I have submitted my heart to God first, so that I can be the best wife possible and submit to my Husband.  I love ALL OF  YOU CHRISTOPHER G. DAVIS and will continue to until death do us part!

WAIT, THAT’S NOT THE END OF THE STORY!

The issue is that sometimes we don’t read the entire passage or we don’t read it at all. We come up with our own reality of what submission is due to what we have seen on TV or stories we have heard about.

Ephesians 5:25-30

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansinga]”>[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body.

IT GOES BOTH WAYS!!!

Submission goes both ways…..uhhhhh ohhhhh…I just made someone mad with that statement….well its true!!!! Did you know that Christ is the ultimate example of leadership. A husband’s job is to be the example as well and lead his wife and family.  I am so glad that I have a husband that believes in this.  He is my protector and my lover. There are times in our marriage when he will put away his opinion or perception and hear what I have to say because I may have the answer to that decision.  BUT, DO UNDERSTAND, I allow my husband to lead, even when I feel I could be right or have the answer. I have learned to relinquish my opinion and trust that he has the answer with authenticity.  How? Because I know that my husband follows Christ.

My husband will literally go to war to protect me! YEEEPPPPP HE WILL FIGHT FOR ME IN A HEART BEAT.  In that moment I have to protect him from himself so he does not get in any trouble!!!!!

Sometimes him protecting me means protecting me from myself.  What do I mean?  Protecting me from the part of me that still needs to  be buffed smooth.  Also, protecting me from the part of me that will sabotage the greatness on the inside that I sometimes don’t see or have confidence in.

Transparency….yes my husband and I argue sometimes and there are things I don’t like that he does….and vice versa….sorry babe….. I know I irk your nerves sometimes….hehehe.  I know that my husband is passionate and has a heart after God and his love for me is pure.  If a man has to beat his chest and say submit to me or I am the head, you might want to have a good old fashioned talk!

 

It’s a beautiful thing

Ladies, we have to know his heart and his intentions…Yesssssss, I trust that my husband is strong in his faith and listens to the Christ on the inside.  I could go on, and on about this but submission is not a bad thing.  It is a good thing. It is a beautiful dynamic of marriage and when it is authentic and pure, it makes marriage so much easier!

A woman being submissive entails wisdom and grace…our submission starts with submitting ourselves to God and His plan…So yes, I believe that women should submit to Him, do as He says, and YES, He is MY DADDY.  GOD THAT IS!  And my husband is daddy too, even when I am submitting in the bedroom….yuppppp….IT’S ABOUT TO GO DOWN!!!!!!…OOOPSSS BACK ON TASK.

Lastly, submission starts in the heart when we decide that we want to be married and we must allow God to direct our Paths. When you allow Him to direct your path, the path ends us with a husband that is worth submitting to.

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Love Mommi Demetria