As I stood in my bathroom mirror checking myself out before I stepped into the steaming hot shower, I was pretty pleased with what I saw. My breasts, while not nearly as perky as they used to be before the babies, looked pretty amazing from the angle I was standing in. My abdomen, though not as flat as I would have liked, showed a tiny pooch that I was convinced I could live with. I would just need to keep up some form of physical activity. However, I absolutely did not want to take on any exercise at this point in my life. My stretch marks were looking exceptionally stretchy in the harsh bathroom light, but I wasn’t really concerned about them. I’m a tiger damnit, those were my stripes!
I slowly scanned the rest of my naked body as the mirror quickly began to steam up. That’s when I spotted it. It wasn’t immediately noticeable if I stood up absolutely straight, but with a slight slouch and a roll of my head, there was no mistaking it. At first I thought I was imagining things, but upon closer inspection, it stood out like a tiny lightning bolt amongst its darker colored peers. What the hell!
Traumatized, I quickly yelled to my husband. I had to be seeing things, I just had to be. Nobody goes grey DOWN THERE, right? I must be crazy! My husband arrives in the bathroom just in time for panic to set in. His response to my newfound life changing news was comical at best. He rushes into the bathroom and completely misreads the signs of confusion on my face. He gives me his best eyebrow raise. “Hold on a second buddy, it’s not that kind of party right now,” I respond.
He was completely confused as to why he was being summoned into the bathroom with his naked wife, only to be turned down for a quickie. In other words, I had some quick explaining to do. In my most concerned voice, I explained my problem. With his most serious face he looks me over, insists on a closer view, and finds the silver intruder. He chuckles. This is not a laughing matter. This is serious! He gives me a quick peck on the cheek as he makes his exit from the bathroom. “It’s bound to happen sometime,” he says. He smiles and closes the door leaving me to my own thoughts.
What did he mean, who has this happened to? Why wasn’t I warned! I read every stupid book on motherhood. Not one book warned me about going grey in my nether region. Why aren’t these women warning other women? I couldn’t concern myself with that right now though. On the contrary, I had something very important to ponder. What was I going to do to get rid of my little silver nemesis? It kept staring at me reminding me of my aging body. Consequently, it was too soon to shave again. I had only one option. Now where in the hell were my tweezers? Yep, you heard me. I was going to pluck that little sucker out. Not to mention, send up a silent prayer that seven more didn’t sprout up as tiny avengers. Ouch.
My first course of action after my shower was to find out what else I needed to know about my mom body. These all-knowing motherhood books were clearly leaving things out! As it turns out, my husband was right (he usually is). I wasn’t the first woman upset to find that her lady parts had been invaded by silver intruders. While plucking was only a temporary fix, I was sure that dyeing my lady parts wasn’t a viable option. I am a mother after all, and adding a pube dyeing schedule to my already hectic life just didn’t seem feasible to me. It was time to face the music. As long as my husband found my greying lady parts amusing, I’d have to learn to deal with it. So cheers to motherhood and salt and pepper hair on our heads and parts unseen.
Welcome to MommiNation’s No Judgment Zone where we as Mommis can share our most honest thoughts with each other without all the pointing and laughing or looks of disdain. Since we’re being honest here, what are some things that you’ve found surprising as a mom? Share them in the comments below.
Until next time,