THERAPY… for reasons unbeknownst to me, there’s this stigma in the black community that the T word is negative.  Think about all of the specialist that you see throughout the year. We see OBGYN’s to make sure our vagina’s are GOOD. We see optometrist to insure our vision is clear. And we see a dentist to ensure our teeth are on point. So why don’t we consider the importance of mental health? 

Last year, studies have shown that African American children have been committing suicide roughly twice the rate of their white counterparts!  I find this alarming and I find myself pouring more love, prayers and affirmations into my children daily.  For the last few months I have been on hunt for an African American counselor, because let’s keep it real….. representation matters not only in children’s books, and movies it matters in REAL LIFE. A few days ago I stumbled across the IG page Therapy for Black Girls and took advantage of their free therapist directory. I’m so excited to have my visit set and I’m already counting down the days until I get to sit on the chair and spill my guts to a complete stranger that will somehow help me sort through everything and move forward toward a clearer mental state. 

Here are my 5 reasons for wanting to start Therapy:

  1. I’m a MOM: Listen, I LOVE my kids with every ounce in my soul but these little humans can work me like no other, especially when there’s more than ONE!!! I’m a mom of four and it seems like my stress levels remain off the charts. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. They are all so different and the challenge of trying to support them all, uniquely, sometimes leaves me concerned for my own sanity! Being a Mom, wife, working a full time job, blogging AND trying to have a personal life is exhausting. I am thankful for my mom tribe and support system, however, I know that being able to get the professional help via a therapist is needed for my own sanity.
  2. Marriage is HARD AF! Listen coming from a background where no one in my immediate family is married, to marrying into the “Huxtable Family” has been a roller coaster of emotions.  While I love my husband dearly, I have to be honest, this right here is a task.  I’ve always been super independent and confident in doing for myself. I’m used to leaving situations I don’t want to be a part of, and ignoring people with the quickness. But that is not an option in marriage. You stick it out, you work it out and you stay together. I don’t have many examples of this and few resources to fall back on. But one thing for sure, when you keep God first, everything else aligns for the good!
  3. My Upbringing:  Growing up in Baltimore with a drug-addicted mom and having my father murdered when I was 4, was pretty much the norm, in my experience. My grandmother stepped in to raise myself and my sisters and we were actually considered Wards of the Court! Imagine being a kid and having to walk to every pawn shop to buy back your own Nintendo because your mom said it was broken when in fact, it was pawed for drugs. I still have that NES with my mother’s last name written on the bottom in permeant marker to help the pawn shop distinguish which item(s) were hers. Those experiences live with me and there are times I know I need help sorting it all out. While I know that my mom loved us, her battle with drugs won every time up until her death, my senior year of college. My mom was 41 when she died, and as I get closer to turning 41 I worry and over analyze every detail in my life. I know that this is a form of PTSD so talking to someone is crucial.
  4. Secrets are REAL: About 4 years ago I learned of a shocking family secret that will literally change my life forever. I can’t go into too many details, because our family hasn’t really dealt with the far-reaching impact, but it’s one of those things that leaves you torn up on the inside and ready for answers. What I’ve learned so far is that some secrets are so unnecessary, and if we practice walking in our truth, we have no issues moving forward with life.
  5. Raising BLACK children in America is exhausting: I have three little black boys and a daughter that I worry about every single day! Whether I’m scrolling on Instagram or watching the news I see such horror in our communities. Every murder or story of police brutality hits harder each time and I empathize with the families and pray for God to protect mine. It’s 2019, I don’t want to believe that this is an ever-present concern, but it is! Having “the talk” with my children is a gut-wrenching reality that they will, in some way, endure some form of racism and there is nothing I can do to prevent it, the only thing I can do is prepare them for what’s to come. Every morning I pray of their lives, I pray for protection and a peace of mind.

Welp there you have it, these reasons are motivating me to seek help, and grow. I’m seriously excited and guess what… I already have my first session booked. I hope that this post will encourage someone to seek therapy to better themselves or share with a loved one in need. Be sure to follow along with more of my crazy adventures over at my blog Hanging With The Harrells .

Until next time…..


Mommi Meka