I bet you can’t say the title again 3 times really fast! It’s typical of a mommi who already has a million things going in her head, to add more pressure to herself with a title like Managing Mommi Madness with Multiples. But we get it done! Going from one kid to two kids was a piece of cake for me. I considered myself an awesome mom with my first son, Trenton. I breastfed him for almost 2 years, I made all his baby food, he only listened to Baby Einstein music, and I refused to let him watch tv before his first birthday, yea I was one of THOSE moms. I wanted to hold him constantly, and he could do no wrong. He’s what you call, spoiled. Rotten. Even to this day.
So when I had my second son, I considered myself a pro. I already had a plan for how I was going to sleep train him, and it worked! Grayson is my easiest, coolest, most laid back child of our bunch. I thought I was such an expert that at one point I started a home daycare business and added even more kids to the roster. We’ll save that madness for another blog post lol!
When Frankie came, he was the new baby on the block, and we were so wrapped up in him that we didn’t even realize how spoiled he was until recently, now that he’s in that Terrific Two phase.
With Harmony being the latest blessing to our party of six, I can absolutely agree when they say it gets easier with each new addition to the family. And that’s because you gain more experience each time. You will naturally start to learn as you go along. And since there’s no blueprint to this parenting thing, that is absolutely ok. Accepting that no mom is perfect and mistakes will be made is the key. That’s how you learn not to make them again. Once you gain this perspective, everything else is smooth sailing! Here are 5 ways to manage Mommi Madness with Multiples:
No matter what your religion or spirituality is, you have got to believe in something to get you through this. A deep and intimate relationship with God will have you overcoming obstacles you never thought you could. I’m talking about that everyday all day connection to your higher power. It’s imperative. I start my days an hour early before everyone else wakes up. I spend that time talking to God, sharing my concerns with him, listening for his voice, asking for his guidance. We have really great days when I am able to get this extra time in. And those conversations extend over throughout the day. That’s the only way to truly manage it all, with God’s grace.
I mentioned this earlier, and this is the most important part. Face it girl, you’ve got a lot of kids. There’s going to be chaos. There’s going to be noise, and there’s always going to be a mess. Once you can accept that you are able to have a higher perspective on things. This is also why it’s important to be flexible. I know from my own personal experience that there’s madness from the time their little eyelids open, until the last child finally takes that last sigh into a deep sleep. So be gentle with yourself, celebrate the little wins, and find ways to embrace every moment. You’ll never get to live these days again. So you really want to make them count. If you can afford it, invest in a cleaning service to come in once or twice a month to help you. Get more than one babysitter on deck that you can trust and is dependable, to be sure that you can get a break and schedule a couple date nights with your honey every month. All of that is very important and necessary to maintaining your peace and sanity.
It’s extremely important to create a schedule and remember that it might need to change, so it’s important to be as organized as you can. Those cute little planners aren’t just for show. It’s real life happening between those pages. Come up with a routine that will be conducive to the needs of your family’s schedule. It should be something that you know you all can stick to, while remaining flexible to life’s random curveballs. I created a daily schedule for each of my boys, from the minute they woke up, until bedtime. This way I was able to make it fun and not just about chores. They knew when there was tv time and when it was time to pray. I was even able to block off a time for them to say their affirmations and give thanks. When it comes to sleeping, eating, bathing and self-caring, get it in when you can sis. If you can snag an extra 5 minutes in the bathroom alone, find a way to enjoy it.
As soon as the older kids can understand that you are pregnant, which is right around the time you start to show, start getting them prepared early. You want to get them in the mindset to start helping and taking on more responsibility around the house. You have nine months to get everybody ready. I taught Trenton how to clean the bathrooms when we were expecting baby girl. He also learned how to load and empty the dishwasher, sweep and vacuum the floors, how to load/unload and fold the laundry, maintain the trash in the house, and he knows how to do some light meal prepping. Get them excited about becoming an older brother or sister, and let them know their roles are important.
Once you arrive home from the hospital with your new bundle of joy, it’s important to include the older siblings in what’s going on. Have them run and get the diapers and wipes for you. Let them help pick the baby’s outfit for the day, and get them involved with feeding and bath times. This will not only begin to grow the bond between siblings, but it will also keep them excited about helping and more eager to do it when needed. We haven’t had any type of jealousy or real ill feelings floating around between them because of this. They are being taught to look out for each other from a young age, and learning to build each other up at the same time.
So as a new mommy of four, with three of them under five, I’m realizing that I have to keep the family in a team mindset and that’s how we are all able to help each other. We all have to acknowledge when one of us is having an off day, and find ways to keep pushing forward past it. There are fun days, great days, productive days, low and dark days. It’s important to remember that THIS is the season that your family is in. Diaper changes, late night feedings, toddlers and first grade homework packets. Or maybe your season right now is full of track meets and basketball practice, and chauffeuring each child around town. Either way, the seasons will always change. Live in your season and own it. Trenton couldn’t watch tv until the one year mark, but Frankie knows how to work the remote and the tablet at age two. At one point all I listened to was Baby First TV, and today you might call me up and catch trap music in the background while I’m nursing the baby. You have to do what works for you. Remember how far you’ve come and how much you have accomplished. As long as you are learning from the setbacks and in a constant state of growth, you will continue to do great! We got this Mommi!
With love and much gratitude for reading,