Discussions dealing with submission in marriage are often heated and rife with judgment. This is because many people’s perception of the submissive wife is the wife who is seen and not heard, who takes repeated abuse, who is an on-demand sex robot. Well, you can relax, as that version of the submissive wife is not the subject of this article.

Instead, we will look at the submissive wife as a person of value within the marriage, who has autonomy, but who considers her husband in all matters. Keep reading for 10 ways to be a submissive wife.

1. Be the peacemaker.

A submissive wife keeps the peace amidst ever-present hardship. When all hell is breaking loose, your husband needs someone to lean on. You can help to keep the peace by reassuring your husband that everything will be alright.

Being the peacemaker is a difficult task because, as human beings, we sometimes crack under pressure. But there are many things you can do to keep the peace. For instance, if your husband storms into the house after a stressful day with an obvious attitude, don’t engage him in a negative way. Make him comfortable, offer to talk to him about it, or give him space to work things out mentally.

2. Allow your husband to be your provider.

You are a strong, independent woman who can care for yourself, and you know it. He knows it, too.

But when you allow your husband to care for you even though you can care for yourself, it makes him feel wanted and needed.

I am not encouraging you to be needy or to act desperate for him. This could turn him off completely. Be yourself, but every so often, ask him how to do something technical, or ask him to take care of something important.

3. Keep the house under control.

You are not Cinderella. I do not encourage you to be the maid. But, if you haven’t already, talk to your husband about chores.

If you both decide that you will complete all of the chores, get busy. If you two desire a split arrangement, make sure that you are doing your part.

The main idea here is to do what you both have decided is appropriate for your household. Try not to slack on your share of the housework without good reason.

4. Be open to your husband’s sexual needs and desires.

Here, we delve into the hottest topic concerning being submissive- sex.

Should a submissive wife be sexually “obedient”? No.

Instead, as a submissive wife, being open to your husband’s sexual needs and desires is important. So, if your husband asks for sex, do it if you can. If you are severely ill or otherwise out of it (no faux headaches), explain that to him so that he won’t feel rejected.

To most men, the more sex, the better. So if you are someone who can give it up morning, noon, and night, do that! Otherwise, do it as often as you can.

Remember that your husband chose you, of all women on Earth, to be his intimate partner, and you chose him as well. Celebrate that!

5. Listen intently to your husband without interruption.

Some stereotypes are true. We women love to talk, and often way too much. I’m guilty of this.

Instead of being a chatterbox, try submitting to your husband’s thoughts and ideas by listening intently. Once your husband is finished speaking, let him know that you heard him and then respond.

6. Include your husband in financial decisions.

I get that you want that new Michael Kors bag with the matching wallet. You might have even thought about ordering it online without telling your husband. Not the best idea.

Even if you work and have your own money, allowing your husband to be present in financial matters shows him respect and consideration that he’ll no doubt appreciate. It also keeps you both on the same page.

7. Help your husband through navigation.

Submissive wives allow the husband to lead. This doesn’t mean that you have no say in things, though. Be the navigator who helps to keep things on course.

Your husband cannot handle everything on his shoulders, and chances are that plans, projects, and endeavors will fall by the wayside from time to time. We make our men (and his efforts) better when we help by keeping things on track. It’s a team effort.

8. Be slow to anger

As a submissive wife, you are a calming force for the marriage. While we have the potential to get just as angry as our husbands, we should work to keep our anger in check for the sake of the marriage.


When angry, you don’t make the best decisions. Emotionally charged decisions could cause marital disagreements and negative outcomes. Control your anger and see your marriage flourish as a result.

9. Use tact when sharing your opinions.

A submissive wife has opinions, and they should be shared. Sharing those opinions with tact is key. Doing so will help to ensure that your opinions are heard and taken into consideration.

Instead of dropping an opinion bomb on your husband while he’s stressed out from a hard days work, you can wait until he’s more relaxed. In addition, using a neutral tone when sharing your opinion helps your message to be received more easily by your husband.

10. Be available to help your husband as needed.

A submissive wife is a helper. Let your husband know that you are always there to help. In general, men don’t like to ask for help, so if he does ask, make sure that you are ready to assist.

Also, try to anticipate his needs. The more you pay attention to your husband, the more you’ll know about what he may need. If you realize that he needs something, offer that to him. He’ll appreciate it.


Good Reads:

My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife by Sara Horn

This book chronicles Horn’s yearlong submissive wife challenge. She references biblical instructions for how to be a submissive wife and follows those principles. You’ll read about her personal experience as a submissive wife, as well as how her decision to be a submissive wife affected others.

The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide To Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace by Laura Doyle

This New York Times Bestseller is a complete guide to improving your marriage. Doyle teaches women how to trust their husbands, stop criticizing, express their needs, and give up unnecessary control in their marriages.

The Peaceful Wife by April Cassidy

This novel is about Cassidy’s personal journey to becoming a peaceful wife. Cassidy teaches readers to look in the mirror, identify potential areas of improvement, and implement self-change.




Hope this article was helpful.

Please check out our full series

I Don’t Listen and I Talk Back- A Blog About Submission

How Falling On My Knees Has Served My Marriage Well