The fear of being alone

Track season has officially started but it takes on a whole new meaning when you’re married to the coach and become a parent. When I became a mom, I had so much anxiety when my husband started traveling, the fear of being alone with our son and if I could handle it overwhelmed me. Being a working mom, breastfeeding and having fears of being a new parent is not easy to process. But eventually I found my way and I found my tribe!

It’s not easy

Finding your Mom Tribe is not an easy task, often times it can really feel like a chore. However, being proactive and
intentional has been the best thing that I could do for myself and the circle I’ve built around me. If you’re like most
coaches’ wives you may live in a town that is not your hometown or ideal place to be, but it’s the life we chose. It was so hard moving to a new state that was not ideal and on top of trying to get used to the culture and make new friends. I adjust pretty well to my environments and making friends usually isn’t an issue but throw a kid in the mix and all of a sudden, the friend groups change. I quickly realized that I needed more support around me, I needed real adult conversations with other women who understood the coach’s wife lifestyle and motherhood. Not saying my childless friends aren’t great women and always there for me but face it….THEY HAVE THEIR FREEDOM.

Building your Tribe

1. In order to build your Mom Tribe you have to put yourself out there and get out of the house.

Staying in the comfort of your own home is okay every now and then, but when staying inside puts your sanity at risk you need to get out. Meet up with that friend that you usually make verbal plans with but never follow through. Contact the other coaches’ wives with kids and plan a girl date or playdate, your husbands work together why shouldn’t you. It’s not only good for you but it’s good for the kids. While they run and play or slob over the same teething toys at least you and the moms can have a decent conversation. Plus, they can wear themselves out together and hopefully take a good nap afterwards.

2. Get a babysitter.

Plan to ask a trusted friend ahead of time who’ll watch the kids for free, yes friends like this do exist. If you can, fork over that money to get some free time away from your child. I love my son, I really do, but this mama needs a break. Sometimes I just want to go out with my girls, have some drinks, dance the night away and not think about my real-life duties! We can’t lose ourselves to being a mom, a wife or working all the time.


3. Make it a House Party!

Depending on your location the weather may play a huge factor in if you actually get with your tribe or not. If the temps are not right and there aren’t many indoor places to visit for kids, bring the noise to the house. Get with all your girlfriends and decide whose house will be used. Bring all the snacks and chill. If you’re going to be miserable you might as well be together.

4. Dad Duty!!!

It’s also their duty to clean that booty! Moms are tired of wiping ass and picking up trash. #TagYourseIf
Yes, that right mamas remember that you do have a partner in crime who should already be helping you on this
parenting journey but sometimes they forget what needs to be done and need a little reminder. Some may need a hint because they don’t do a great job of recognizing the signs. Be sure to communicate with your spouse about what it is you’re feeling and what you need. Make plans to get major errands completed or ladies’ night when you know there’s an off week.


If it’s not on the calendar in my world, it doesn’t happen. I hate to say it, but this has been so true for me since I became a mom. As much as I miss my girlfriends and we text/group message daily, we are so bad about getting together yet somehow, we complain that we miss each other. What kind of sense does that make? From date nights, playdates, to ladies’ night put it on the calendar and make it happen. Be intentional at all times so that you don’t just wake up living your life in some boring routine.

I can’t guarantee this will work for everyone, but it is a system that has definitely worked for me! Start something new for yourself this year, make adjustments as needed, & go flourish!

Find your tribe girl,

Mommi Lashawn

LaShawn Smith is a former track and field athlete, now mom, Track Coach’s Wife, & works fulltime. She blogs via social media about each of those areas and likes to add a little dance to it as well. LaShawn is most certain that one of her purposes in life are to uplift women and young girls, to work towards healing from sexual trauma, abuse, insecurities and self-worth! She is a boy mom of 2 toddlers Atlas & Apollo and married to collegiate track field coach Glenn Smith.