The day I became a mom is arguably one of the most unorthodox days of my life. For starters, it was the day my life ended. Now obviously I didn’t die for real, but you wouldn’t have been able to tell judging from the aftermath of the day’s events. I mean it looked like a real bloodbath and it felt like hell! Ps. whoever said a woman forgets the pains of childbirth is a damn liar! Shout out to all the Mommies with multiple kids, I applaud you, but that’s one plank I can’t ever see myself walking again! Not just because they had me laid up in this pale, depressing room for days on end, but because this was nothing like the Four Seasons suite the movies make the hospital rooms out to be. No, this was more like a 7-eleven with random people coming in and out all hours of the night. Before you ask, yes of course, I took a tour of the hospital prior to the birth, but that was right before the delivery, and the way I was waddling down the halls with swollen ankles, I wasn’t paying attention to anything except my over-active bladder. No one warned me that I’d be laid up for days waiting on “Twila” aka my vagina to do something. All I kept thinking was, damn with all of the medical advances in science and technology they don’t have it down to the millisecond as to when this baby was supposed to bust on out? But nope, it wasn’t until eight days past her due date when Miss Aniyah-Chrisette finally decided to tear down the walls and make her grand entrance into this world. Clearly, she gets her timeliness (or rather lack thereof) from her mom.
Full disclosure, our first encounter was not the love at first sight fairy-tale I had been psyching myself up about for nine months. It was quite the contrary. She was tired and beat up and so was I. Nevertheless, we had spectators awkwardly watching our every move. It was as if they were waiting on us to enact this magical Hollywood moment. So, what did I do? I got into mode. I put on my best Viola Davis face and tried to emulate her cry, you know the one she always does in all her movies with the snot dripping down her face. I had nothing…All I kept thinking was daaaamn, aliens are real (now in all fairness, the meds hadn’t worn off yet and those drugs they give you in the hospital are no joke). My baby must’ve read my mind because she threw me a quick side eye that said I wasn’t no Beyonce either. The referees aka the L & D staff rushed in like they were breaking up the Mayweather and Pacquiao fight. Aniyah went to her corner to get cleaned up and I went to my side of the ring to get stitched up, literally. As the doctors were intently sewing me up, I couldn’t help but think, poor Twila, will she ever be the same?
Now when the meds finally wore off, my entire body felt like it had been run over twice by a bulldozer. Nevertheless, I was ready to jump out of bed, climb the ropes like the wrestlers in WWE and straight body slam the lactation specialist for the way I felt she was roughhousing my baby. Apparently, it’s not considered manhandling the way these nurses are with newborns, but try telling a first-time mom that. From the way the staff were poking and prodding her to the way my then-husband was holding her neck, momma bear was about to unleash. Any time my baby so much as whimpered, I turned it into a full on state of emergency. The staff thought I was playing when I asked where their hazmat suits were, but that was nothing compared to the way I was inspecting everyone coming in the room to ensure they scrubbed the epidermis off their hands before coming within 2 feet of her. Yup, I had unapologetically morphed into that germophobic overprotective mom. I had no clue who this person was, but I was sure of her mission and purpose, which was to protect God’s very own handiwork by any means necessary.
Looking back at it all now, I suppose I can see where some felt I was being a bit extra and/or excessive. LOL. My mom and I still look back and laugh at how I kicked her out of the room (mind you she flew in from out of state just to be there for the birth). In hindsight, I can now admit that the majority of my actions the day I became a mom stemmed from fear. There was the fear of the unknown as well as fear of the known. I had no clue what to do with a newborn and six years later, I’m still trying to figure it all out (thank God for MommiNation)! Trust me when I say, I’ve come a long way. I no longer place a mirror under my daughter’s nose when she’s sleeping to make sure she’s still breathing nor do I force people to wash their hands until they get visible eczema. Do I still go overboard with regards to certain things? Absolutely but somethings will never change! While I’m still fumbling my way through this journey called motherhood, the one thing I do know is that the day I gave birth is the day I willingly sacrificed my life for my daughter. I made a vow to God that I would love, protect and serve her for the rest of my life and it’s been my greatest honor doing just that!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read about the day I became a mother! I’d love to hear about your off-the-wall experiences or things that drove you insane as you learned to adapt to your new role as a mother!