I never thought I would be a stay-at-home mom. I went to college to eventually work full-time, fulfilling my dreams in the corporate world. Little did I know, God had other plans for me.
The “college me” is much different from the “mommy me.” I had my first son right out of college, and everything about me has changed. My faith, my goals, my friendships, even the way I use my time changed. Praise God for change! I truly did not like the person I was. I became a new mom at 20. I immediately kicked into mom mode and tried to learn as much as possible to be the best parent I could . God put older mom’s around me that truly guided me during this stage and helped me transform into the type of mom God wanted me to be.
I was working at a large regional bank throughout my pregnancy. When I had my first child, I went back to work at 6 weeks. This was the hardest thing I ever had to do. We needed my insurance because, at the time, my husband was in commission-only car sales. I literally cried every day and didn’t know what was wrong with me. I also happened to have a boss who didn’t understand what it meant to be a new mom. To them, pumping at work was a break for me, or a reason to get out of work activity. Meanwhile, there was somehow, much more understanding for co-worker’s smoke breaks than for me pumping my baby’s milk for the next day.
I listened to a message from church during those first few weeks. The preacher talked about being a stay at home mom verses a being a working mom. In this message, I loved the way there was no condemnation for either role. The speaker said to pray that God would show you specifically what you should do for those specific children. It would be a different prayer for everyone.
After I prayed this prayer, I was not too thrilled with the answer. I had a deep feeling in my gut that it was best to stay home. I wasn’t sure how long, but knew this was needed for these specific children God had given me.
I had such a hard time, especially the first few years, because I felt the role didn’t “fit” me. I am outgoing and need to be around people…. I went to college for a reason…and how would we financially make it?! So many concerns. So much doubt.
Remember, I was right out of college. I didn’t really know a ton of stay at home moms and none were in my age range. I had a lot of “stay-at-home-mom” stereotypes.
I thought they ate snacks, watched TV all day, and sat around the house incredibly bored.
OMG!! Was I in for a rude awakening!
I couldn’t even conceive how much work it was, how exhausted I would be, how much I would envy my husband for having a lunch break or just getting to ride in a car alone at some point in the day. I struggled with so many things, but at the end of the day, I had a beautiful peace knowing I made the choice I knew God impressed upon my heart.
There were so many months that were tight financially. It was rare for our budget to even work out on paper. It appeared that there wasn’t enough money, but I knew this was what God told me to do.
I panicked almost monthly and constantly wrestled with going back on my decision. I thought of stay at home moms as weaker women. I felt the need to always tell people I was only going to do it for a very limited amount of time. However the years stretched on and God kept telling me to stay.
I am amazed what God does when you trust Him. Even when it doesn’t make sense and isn’t what you even want to do.
We were NEVER late on any bill, we NEVER struggled for food… it didn’t make sense on paper. Every month we gave it to God and He miraculously worked it out! We were still even able to do vacations, go on dates, and have birthday parties. It does not make sense, but that is why we knew it was always God. He has been so faithful.
We held tight to Psalm 37:25 “I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. He was faithful to keep us and gave us “abundantly more than we could ever ask for.”
It seemed like every stay at home mom I met had a husband who made amazing money. Any normal mom felt like there was no way they could afford to even do it, even though their income was still more than ours. They couldn’t go on vacations or do anything else and felt they were barely surviving.
The lesson I learned from this was important. When God is your reason and your focus for the decisions you make, no matter what they may be, He honors this. He will bless you abundantly. He will keep you. He is faithful.
I have lived such a full life over these last 11 years because of being able to stay home with my kids. It had benefited me in ways I could have never imagined. Seeing the “fruit of your labor” as your kids get older is priceless. Being able to see that choice pay off is such an amazing blessing.
God has blown our minds over these years in ways we would have never been able to see if that decision wasn’t made. He’s guided me on how to live frugally and within our means, how to still be able to be social and use my gifts with other women who are home, how to be content and not make money our God, and how to trust Him like never before.
It’s an amazing place to be (even thought it may not feel that way at the time), really seeing God as the source for everything you receive. I believe that is why the Bible talks about it being hard for a rich man to get into the kingdom of God. Not because making money is bad, but it’s harder to see Him, when you can depend on your own abilities to make money. Or you see your lavish bank accounts as a source of provision.
Becoming a stay-at-home mom puts you in a place of leaning on God as your source and seeing Him as the ONE that provides your needs. Physically, Emotionally and Financially. Being reliant on Him is an awesome thing and takes you to another level in your relationship with Him.
I encourage every mom to pray what God wants you to do for your little ones. Your journey may be very different from mine. One thing I do know is that when you put your cares and concerns in His hands, when you take a leap of faith, when you trust Him, He will bless you in an amazing way!
I look forward to hearing from you below!
EbonyMarch 20, 2019 9:43 pm
I really enjoyed reading this blog tonight! I’m a mom of four and I’ve been struggling and going back and forth with myself about when would be the right time to go back to work! Really enjoyed this and so relatable!
LisaMarch 23, 2021 11:06 pm
You wrote this blog two years ago, but it is speaking so much to me in this season of life in 2021. My husband is a pastor, and we became first time parents just a few months before the pandemic shut everything down. I have felt God pressing on my heart that my next step is to stay at home with my little boy, but financially, it just seems scary to make that decision knowing that things will be tight. Reading about your testimony gives me and your perspective on how to ask God for direction in this specific area. Thank you for writing this! I know God led me to this page!