An interruption is defined as: to cause or make a break in the continuity or uniformity of (a course, process, condition, etc.) To break off or cause to cease, as in the middle of something.
If you’ve been following me for a while, by now you know that my husband Dre is a college basketball coach. He has been coaching for 7 years. In that time, we have been to 4 different schools and moved 5 times (insert crazy face emoji). Hence the name, Mommy On the Move. We are very familiar with packing up our life into boxes, loading up our 3 boys, meeting new people, buying new gear, and everything else that comes along with a transition to a new school.
What we’re still experiencing seven years in this profession sometimes feels like the first year of uncertainty and unpredictability (also known as punching you straight in the face).
“When a husband coaches, his whole family is impacted.”
When we landed in Michigan, we just knew this would be home for a while. My husband is from Detroit, so in a way we were back home. Being a part of the Michigan basketball program has always been a dream of Dre’s. Every time he was interviewed about his experience here, his answer was “It’s like pulling up to Disneyland every day!”
(Us literally at Disney in our Michigan gear…cheesy, I know!)
Everything basketball was going our way. Records were broken. Banners were hung. Trophies were won. I’m not sure how many of you are basketball fans or understand the game, but in college basketball, the biggest stage is the national championship game.
We did that.
Not only was basketball great, but personally things were really coming together. I had a bomb mom tribe. The kids all went to incredible schools with great teachers. They all made great friends with cool moms that weren’t weird or creepy. We had even found a church we were attending regularly. I was even in the process of planning my first mommy brunch. We were comfortable. Maybe too comfortable?
“I had to make you uncomfortable, otherwise you never would’ve moved’”-God
If you had asked either of us what was next after Michigan, we both would answer without flinching “We want to stay here as long as we can.”
But life had other plans. An “interruption” if you will.
We found out on a seemingly typical Monday morning that the head coach of our team took another head coaching job.
Good for him!
But wait, what does that mean for us?!
We immediately spiraled into a frenzy of questions: So, are we fired? Who will the new head coach be? Are we moving again? Are we moving again?! Oh god, please don’t make us move again!!
I haven’t experienced a death that was really close to me yet, but according to google I definitely experienced the five stages of grief: denial, anger (maybe I stayed here for a while), bargaining, depression, acceptance. Well, I’m not sure we’ve reached acceptance yet, but you get the point.
“It’s really hard to trust the road when you can’t see.”
Every one of those previous moves were on our terms. Dre was leaving for a better opportunity. This feeling of being dropped like a hot piece of chicken was brand new, and not our favorite feeling might I add. We went from being completely comfortable to having more questions than answers in the blink of an eye. Would Dre be retained at Michigan? If not, where would we go? How would the kids handle the news?
My kids. I was devastated for my kids. My babies. Before coming to Michigan, Devon (6) and Dallas (4) were too young to really understand what was going on with each move. I was their only friend. They weren’t really in school. Lil Dre (11) had a tough time emotionally leaving Toledo. He made some really great friends there. How would they all handle hearing that we may never see some of their closest friends again? Not to mention, my tribe! I have friends here who I completely trust with my kids. That just doesn’t come easy to me. I’m a tough cookie to crack, but once I love you…I loooooove you!
My husband. My hard-working husband. No one sees the countless hours he puts in watching film, studying, perfecting his craft. Pouring into the young men he coaches. Getting to know them Late night phone calls for advice. Talking them off ledges. It all goes unknown, and he’s ok with that. But it was hard to see him seemingly in the middle of the ocean without a life vest, struggling to find where he would land at the end of it all.
Immediately, our faith had to kick in. We had to put our security in something that could not be taken from us. God. We still have no idea what the future holds, but what truths do we have to hold on to in this crazy time? Well, we know God has never failed us or left us before (Matthew 6:31-32). We know even when we didn’t know why things are the way they are, everything has always worked together for our good (Romans 8:28). Even when it looked like there was no way, we have never wanted for anything (Philippians 4:19).
This change definitely took us on an emotional roller coaster, but those scriptures, along with some really amazing friends and family that completely wrapped their arms around us during the craziest time in our lives, helped us get through it. There was such an outpour of love and support from those that know us and understood that the move left us in a wait. Insert Priscilla Shirer’s book “Life, Interrupted”. A fellow coaching wife suggested this book a few weeks ago (prior to this whole debacle) and it just so happened to already be sitting on my nightstand just waiting for me to read it. Not even 20 pages in, I was punched in the face by this passage:
“Perhaps your husband’s work is such that the possibility of relocating every few years is more likely than not. If you only choose to view this an interruption, you’ll grow paralyzed with frustration. But if you see it as a divine intervention, then your eyes will be opened to the new opportunities open to you with each move.”
And just like that: I had to look at this differently. I loved our community here. I loved our life here. But I know the way it happened and when it happened left us in a place that once it all worked out we’d have to give God the glory. We HAD to lean on God to provide for our family and ultimately make this right. And once it all comes together, that’s exactly what we’ll do.
Whether your husband is a college basketball coach or not, this is a feeling I’m sure many can relate to. Laid off from work. An unexpected emergency that drains your savings. A loved one falls ill and needs more help than you’re capable of providing. Life is full of “interruptions”. Our perception of them is what dictates how we’re able to see them through to completion.
So, if you’re in the middle of one of life’s “interruptions” consider it a privilege. It must mean God has something bigger planned for your life. The only constant in life is change. We don’t know when or how it will happen, but we can count on the fact that it’s coming because life doesn’t come with a manual, it comes with a M.O.M.
Until next time,