Motherhood: one of the most difficult things a woman will ever do. I’ve only been a mom for a year and two weeks, and I can honestly say that the struggle has gotten SO real at times. When people would ask me how it felt to be a new mom, my response was always, “It is the most amazingly difficult thing I’ve ever done.” There have been moments of complete euphoria as well as moments of total chaos. The highs and the lows, the ups and the downs have the power to leave any mom feeling unequipped, unqualified, and unfit.
But would you believe me if I told you that we, moms, are exactly where God wants us to be? YOU are exactly where God wants you to be? Yes, you! God knew that you would one day become a mom, and when he created you, he placed on the inside of you everything you would ever need to fulfill his plans for your life. How do I know it was a part of God’s plan for you to be a mom? Because everything we do and encounter in our lives, the good, the bad, and the ugly, is either God-ordained or God-allowed. There’s absolutely nothing under the sun that he is not privy to (Hebrews 4:13).
13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.Hebrews 4:13 New International Version (NIV)
If all of that is true (and I believe it is), then why is it sometimes difficult for us to walk confidently in our calling as the amazing moms that God created us to be? Here are a few things that I have allowed to eat away at my confidence as a Mommi along with what I’ve learned about what God has to say about me.
Like many moms, I had a vision of what life would look like when I became a mom. When that vision, MY plan, didn’t come together the way I thought it would, I began to doubt everything. Should we have waited longer before we had a baby? Am I ready for the level of commitment that raising a child is going to demand of me? Is my husband equipped to deal with the madness of being a new parent? I became unsure of so much.
God, on the other hand, never doubted me. Instead, he reminded me that I can do ALL things through HIM who gives me strength. (Phillipians 4:13) And just as he promised in his Word, he has been my strength through this entire journey. He also let me know that the plan I had for myself pails in comparison to what he has planned for me (Isaiah 55:8-9).
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,Isaiah 55:8-9 New International Version (NIV)
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
As a new mom, I was so afraid of failing. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to keep him safe from physical harm. I was afraid that I would forget to instill certain principles that would allow him to grow into a productive citizen. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to protect him from the bad people in this crazy world. I. Was. Afraid. And that fear morphed into an overwhelming level of anxiety. I could barely see past the tears that would somehow find their way into my daily routine. I felt like I was losing it, mentally.
But in one of my very dark moments, I took those tears and cried out to God. He reassured me that I had no reason to fear because not only was he with me, he was also with my son (Isaiah 41:10). And he gave me a reality check when he reminded me of the fact that fear is not of God. See, God has not given us a spirit of fear. What he HAS given us is a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). I realized that I had the POWER to overcome this fear that I was experiencing and that if I began to rest in God’s LOVE, it would cast out all of the fear (1 John 4:18). And a sound mind??? I was in desperate need of that! Everything I needed to overcome my fear, I found in him!
18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.1 John 4:18 New International Version (NIV)
Now this affected me in more ways than one. As a new mom, I was not only insecure in my child-rearing ability but I was also insecure as a wife. Embracing my new body was a bit of a struggle for me. I know some people are thinking, “Are you serious? You look great! You’re thinner than you were before you had the baby!” But it’s not always about the numbers on the scale. Our bodies go through a LOT of changes when we have kids (a little sagging here, some drooping there) and I did not know how to accept those changes.
On top of that, I did not know if my husband would be able to accept those changes. Yes, he would tell me that I was beautiful (and he still does), but there was a big part of me that did not believe him. Why? Because I didn’t see that beauty that he spoke of when I looked in the mirror. I had gotten so deep into my own head that the words from the man I married and pledged to spend the rest of my life with suddenly meant nothing. I even began to wonder if he would cheat on me if I weren’t able to get my pre-mom bod back. The insecurities were REAL y’all!
“Don’t you know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made?” (Psalm 139:14) That’s what I heard God say to me. I was made in HIS image. We were ALL made in his image (Genesis 1:27), and the God that I serve is perfect! Which means we are perfect. Ladies, we are perfect just the way we are, beautiful masterpieces that have been intricately crafted by the Most High. It don’t get no better than that!
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;Psalm 139:14 New International Version (NIV)
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Yes, motherhood may be one of the most difficult things you will ever do, but there is a God who’s there to lead you and guide you if you just let him. With his help, we are unstoppable! So walk boldly in your calling! And if ever you find yourself feeling as if you can’t do this motherhood thing, remember that GOD CREATED YOU FOR THIS!