If I had a dollar for every time someone made reference to the fact I’ve kept up with myself after having a baby, I wouldn’t say I’d be rich but I’d have quite a few dollars. Of course, what they don’t know is the hours that went into me finding the perfect pair of Spanx, comfortable yet undetectable, or the fact that I have perfected my “on the go makeup regimen” with my favorite places either being the car or my work bathroom.— yeah I’m keeping it together alright.
As the saying goes “Fake it until you make it”.
Truth is “mommihood” really boils down to figuring things out, adjustments. Sure taking care of you was so much easier before you had kids but maybe its not as hard as you make it seem. Hell, we are able to work, cook, clean, plan activities for the kids, make time for our spouses…. Why is it so hard to make time for ourselves? Stop putting the idea in your head that maintenance after kids is so much work, yes it’s work like anything else but its not as bad as you think. Establishing a physical and mental regimen for yourself goes a long way. Remind yourself you are deserving, and here are 5 ways to do so
1. Establish An Easy Makeup Routine
I think we can all agree in the midst of the morning madness, with getting the kids dressed, packing lunches, and trying to get out the door on time… the last thing on our minds is makeup. I have also realized to look good is to feel even better and although I approach making it to work with the same attitude as I do church, “Come as you are”. “Mom grunge” isn’t as appealing in the office as it is grocery shopping so I have actually perfected the “Traffic Beat” , an easy on the go make up routine. Mom with Five realized she needed an easy make up routine as well stating, “Generally, moms always find it hard taking care of kids and keeping up with the latest fashion trends especially when dealing with toddlers who cannot yet take care of themselves”. check out her easy makeup routine
My “On the go Make up” routine includes:
Step #1- I use a Maybelline fit me balance stick, for my under eye blemishes and dark spot corrector
Step#2- I use Maybelline fit foundation (of course use whatever works for your skin)
Step #3- A little blush or bronzer
Step #4- Some gloss, or a neutral colored lip
Step #5- Setting spray
And voila you’re ready to go… and I promise you this look takes at max 10 minutes to achieve
2. Take more baths
There’s nothing like relaxing In a hot bath after a long day, light some candles pour a glass of wine, throw some music on and just RELAX. Add essential oils to your bath time. Place a few drops in a diffuser and/or in your bath. Relaxing scents include lavender, sandalwood, frankincense, chamomile and ylang ylang.
Making adjustments to your nighttime routine so your able to incorporate bath time may be necessary depending on the kids but it will be so worth it, try taking a bath at least once a week. You’ll be doing yourself a disservice if you don’t.
3. Start saying no more
Give yourself permission to start focusing on what’s really important, and make it a point to saying no to things that are not. A lot of stress moms experience comes from feeling overwhelmed. There’s this to do, and that to do… and when we stop and really reexamine the long list of things to do we’d see many of these tasks just weren’t that important. Moms are not superwoman, though many think we are. We have the same 24 hours like everyone else and although we’d love to be able to do all things for everyone its just not realistic. Remind yourself, you cannot pour from an empty cup so its your responsibility to keep your mental wellness in check.
4. Buy the outfit- and don’t you dare feel guilty
Crazy how we will drop an entire bag on these kids but hesitate buying a shirt on sale, its me… I’m talking about myself. After I first had my son I experienced mom guilt especially when I’d buy myself things, my son could have everything he needed at the time and mentally I’d beat myself up over spending on myself. I convinced myself the money could have went elsewhere. Looking back I can laugh now, because on the right day, mommi may just need to buy these shoes and Carter can wait. I no longer feel guilty for rewarding myself I mean after all look at how much I do. As I said before, to look good is to feel good. Letting ourselves go for the sake of maintaining our kids is in no way an admission to being a “better mom”. You deserve to look good too mom.
5. Exercise/ Eat Healthier
It’s no secret, pregnancy and giving birth change you… it changes you physically, mentally, emotionally but of course the easiest focus is the physical. Looking in the mirror and not recognizing who you are post baby is a real thing. Unfortunately no one is going to do anything about it except for you. Physically feeling better, having more energy to do things is a benefit of course but actually being happy about your appearance… THAT’S HUGE ! Many moms down themselves after kids, they don’t feel as comfortable in clothing as they once did, they may not want to go out with friends to hang because of their newfound ” mom bod” not to mention the bedroom life starts to take a toll because of body insecurities.
Do yourself a favor and start exercising, change your lifestyle. Establishing healthier eating habit will contribute to a healthier overall lifestyle. Your kids will thank you in the long run and you’ll feel better knowing you did it.
It really boils down to how much you want it
Of course this list could keep going, hell there are probably hundreds of things we could do to keep up with ourselves after kids, but for me… these have been fundamental in regaining the old “before kids” me. Whatever your list may look like make sure it is tailored to you… ask yourself, ” What do I need, or what could I be doing different to help me get back to me”?
Speak up for yourself moms, the same way these damn kids speak up when they want something.
because remember there was a you, before there was a “them”
As always thank you for reading,
Mommi Ashley
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