A girlfriend and I had a chance to catch up in Sin City (Las Vegas)!!!! This wasn’t a typical weekend of clubbing and gambling, but a quiet meetup with newborn kids and wait for it…Dinner! The planning that went into us having dinner together alone, was a part-time job! Our plan was simple! We were supposed to meet at my hotel, hop into one car to go to dinner, and enjoy a couple of glasses of wine. Instead, this is what happened:
She reached my hotel room with her sweet baby (she has an angel face!) and we discussed what we should eat. While we are discussing both of our babies’ started crying, since we are both nursing our little ones, we both pull out our boobs and nurse them together. It was a real National Geographic moment. I had been craving Benihana’s and there was actually one in my hotel! Perfect. We get to the restaurant and they turn us away because we didn’t have a reservation. My mind was so set on having Benihana’s, so we found another one, made a reservation and started our journey
She was set on driving in one car together but we couldn’t fit both strollers in her car. This was the start of going to dinner becoming a stressful event. I see the stress on her face, she just wanted to go to dinner with her friend and not train for the baby car packing Olympics. I suppressed my anxiety to keep in good spirits and told her not to worry about it. I suggested leaving my stroller at the hotel and that I would carry my 18lb baby in his car seat (an iron man challenge). She didn’t like the sound of it, she didn’t want me to have to worry about carrying a baby on our “girls trip”, but I convinced her otherwise. We start our journey with all of our baby cargo and my baby decides it’s the perfect time to want mommy! He starts screaming in the backseat, I calm him down but he tags her baby and she’s now prompted to cry! Now she’s screaming, her mom is driving, so that leaves me to try and comfort her (epic fail). Luckily we were close to our destination.
Every journey in motherhood is not paved with gold and is not expressed with laughter.
After calming her baby we finally head to enjoy dinner. We get to our seats and both of us exhale while shaking our heads. She doesn’t have to explain anything… I get it. She looks at me and says, “This Sh*t is hard!” I simply reply, “you’re goddam right it is!”. The reality hits her that this is the new normal, this is how a “girls trip” looks from time to time when you have kids in tow. I wouldn’t dare lie to her and tell her it gets easier, but the good news is, we are malleable creatures and we adapt to our surroundings. She went on to say how looking on social media makes you feel like an inadequate parent because her life as a parent doesn’t match up with the well-manicured images and stories presented on these social sites. She questioned if she’s doing a good job. This is where I stopped her. I had to remind her that she’s doing a phenomenal job and that mothers everywhere are having some of the same feelings and thoughts as her. Matter fact, her friend right in front of her is one of the moms I was talking about. I explained that it may look like there’s nothing but super moms but underneath the costume is just another woman doing her best. I encouraged her to practice “the art of not liking certain things about motherhood”…It’s normal. Though it sounds like a frivolous statement the practice of “the art of not liking certain things about motherhood” is hard and it takes time. I reminded her of my first pregnancy with my twin sons. She knew it was a rough time for me but it’s a testimony that I’m willing to share. I wasn’t the typical happy mom about being pregnant, it was a complete journey to get there. It’s important for me to share my story because it’s disheartening for me to see such a heavy burden on moms. Every journey in motherhood is not paved with gold and is not expressed with laughter. Take a ride down memory lane with me.
The year was 2006 and I was ranked #1 in the world…..
Next up, Part 2…
Blog Inspiration: Sweet Christine