I write this to you because I’ve been hoping that someone would say it to me. Let me start by being completely transparent. Being a mom is the absolute greatest blessing in life. I couldn’t picture things any other way. But there are days like today, where I miss just being me. If you’ve ever felt that way, this message is for you.
I sat in bed today for about thirty minutes with my eyes closed, attempting to sleep, but feeling the weight of guilt as I knew my daughter was somewhere having fun without me. As silly as that may sound, if you’re a mom, you’ve experienced that feeling. It didn’t matter that in a week’s time, an hour and a half would be my only waking moments to enjoy being completely by myself. All I could think of was that I was missing out or she was missing me while I selfishly laid in bed.
I started scanning my brain and thinking about my weekend. How I’d taken care of her, taken care of my nephew, taken care of everyone but me. And it made me angry. Besides being so exhausted I could cry, it seemed really unfair that I, the person who takes care of everyone, never has anyone to take care of me.
If you’re an over-extended mom, that last statement hit hard. But what hit me harder today was that I’m at fault for my own situation. In being a super mom, I forgot all about ME!
The saying rings true “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Too often, as mothers, we give until we have nothing left in us. We forget the essence of who we are, what we desire, and what we deserve. We essentially give up living in hopes to feel like we got everything right as a mom.
What’s the harm in leaving for a few hours to have some girl time? Why can’t Dad take the kids while you sleep? Why can’t roles be shared equally? Why can’t you pursue education, your dream career, or your passion without the guilt of missing out?
Truth is, self-care isn’t just spas and manicures. It’s having time for you to be YOU. It’s following your dreams. It’s not letting anyone make you feel like less of a “mom” for having a career, a hobby, or just needing time away.
To every mom who may be feeling burnt out, tired, overwhelmed…I challenge you to truly put as much effort into taking care of yourself as you do taking care of your children. Without guilt. Handoff a chore to someone else. Get a babysitter for the weekend. Take a solo vacation. For all you do, it’s the least you deserve.
Find peace in knowing that you are doing the absolute best you can. In the eyes of your children, you are a superhero. You are more than enough.