Handling divorce while raising children can feel overwhelming. Children don’t always understand the complexities of adult relationships and may struggle to cope with the changes that come with divorce. No parent wants their child to feel caught in the middle of the emotion and conflict that comes with ending a marriage. Here are some tips for handling divorce when you have children.

Don’t Fight Around the Children

A child can easily become overwhelmed and stressed if they regularly witness their parents fighting with one another. This is especially true for younger children who may not fully understand the seriousness of the situation.

One effective strategy is to set boundaries for conversations. Agree with your ex-partner to discuss contentious issues when the children are absent. This might mean waiting to have serious conversations until they are asleep or at a friend’s house.

Pro Tip

Holding conversations in private also provides ways to handle your divorce with dignity. By keeping things civil in front of your children, you are modeling healthy examples of communication and conflict resolution.

Openly Discuss Feelings

Children need to understand that their feelings are valid and that you hear them. Initiate regular conversations to ask your children how they feel and actively listen to them by offering reassurance. This helps your child process their emotions healthily and reduces feelings of confusion or isolation.

When having these conversations, tailor your discussions to their age and maturity level. Younger children might need reassurance that the divorce is not their fault, while older children might seek more detailed explanations.

Join Support Groups

Support groups can offer invaluable assistance during a divorce. These groups provide a sense of community and a safe space to discuss challenges.

Search for local groups designed for divorced or single Black parents so that you can talk with people who share your experience. This can give you new perspectives on your situation, which can also help with processing.

Pro Tip

Search for in-person and online groups to have access to a variety of perspectives and resources.

Focus on Your Future

The final tip for handling divorce when you have children is to look toward the road ahead. Focusing on the future rather than dwelling on the past can help everyone move forward healthily. Set realistic goals for yourself and your family.

Create a plan for the immediate future, including custody arrangements and co-parenting strategies. Then, set long-term goals for personal growth and family life. As you do this, you should also encourage your children to set their own goals related to school, hobbies, or personal development. By focusing on the future, you can build a positive outlook for yourself and your children.