Heyyyyyyy! Tina checking in! If you follow me on Instagram then you know I’m completely obsessed with my babies. Like could they be any cuter?!
As cute as they are, as much as I love them, I didn’t always want kids. I feel like I didn’t choose motherhood. Motherhood sort of choose me. Rising to the occasions has completely wrecked my world in both the best and worst ways. Are there any other moms who envisioned their lives in a completely different way? Do you sometimes feel guilty about it? I’m here to tell you that it’s okay.
It’s okay that you never wanted kids to begin with. Most importantly, it doesn’t make you mean or selfish or less of a woman. It’s okay that you can’t relate to other moms. The ones who tell you about their dreams of having a modern day Brady Bunch. Those that don’t know what it’s like to be the mom who prayed and prayed to be blessed with a sweet baby. Motherhood just kind of happened to you.
It’s okay to admit that sometimes you need a break. Bad days will remind you that you never wanted kids in the first place. The reality is, all moms need breaks, even the ones that wanted kids. Especially the ones who appear to be part super hero. No mom is Super Mom and the sooner we let go of that expectation the better. Take breaks. Perhaps longer breaks, to make it through the days and weeks and months of a life that are more physically, mentally and emotionally taxing than I can truly find the words to describe.
It’s okay to speak your truth. As mothers we all need a safe space to vent, to cry, to vulnerable and to not feel judged. I’m willing to bet that there are more of us moms who didn’t want kids than those that did.
Don’t be afraid to be open
We need to hear your story of fears and tears to help us feel like we have a friend in this crazy called motherhood. In the same vein, we need someone else who understands the struggle of being a mom and the struggle not to lose your identity to becoming a mother. Other moms who hear the voice in their head say, “This is why I never wanted kids.” In other words, we need to know that we aren’t in this thing alone. It can feel really lonely sometimes. We need each other and that’s why we’re here. We hope this can be your safe space, your true judgment free zone.
I believe that motherhood, and all that it comes with should be shared more candidly. Real mom moments don’t get enough shine. If you can appreciate my candor, then I would love for you to follow me on my personal blog Her Life Sparkles as well. Thanks for reading and I’ll be checking in again soon!
Love & Hugs
-Mommi Tina ????
Jelicia ReedMarch 5, 2019 3:32 am
I absolutely love your personality and admire your honesty. I wanted to be a mother, but not as soon as motherhood introduced itself. I felt selfish feeling this way at the age of 26 years old. I wanted to enjoy my husband by myself longer and travel more without carrying a diaper bag. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone.