I’m Grateful For My Kids…BUT!

The other day Lil Dre asked me if he was a mistake. I said absolutely not! You were more like an AND I…OOOP!

If you know me then you know Mom is most definitely my favorite title. What you may not know is it’s a title that snuck up on me not once but twice! Dre and I have been dating since college and it’s no secret that Lil Dre is 12 and our marriage is 9. I’m no mathematician but everyday of the week that means for us first came baby in the baby carriage, then came love and marriage. We were a fresh 22 straight out of college when I found out I was pregnant. I was scared to death but I was determined to be the best mom I could. Fast forward 5 years and I was finally starting to get the itch to have another baby and along came Devon. Dre and I played pull out Russian roulette for 9 months and I finally felt like it was time to stop playing and get some birth control so I scheduled an appointment to see my obgyn and get on some birth control. Only one problem, I was already pregnant. Chiiiiiiiiiiiile, when I tell you I had to pick my jaw up off the floor! I couldn’t believe it! I just kept saying I can’t do this again! I just had a baby, I can’t have another one! What I was really saying was I was already overwhelmed and felt like adding another baby to the mix might break me. My mom just kept saying “Tierra you’re already doing it. It’s happening!”

Honestly, I was always a little hesitant to share this side of my motherhood journey. I know so many amazing women who struggled with infertility or loss of a child and it felt ungrateful to be so upset about being pregnant without even trying. But I couldn’t help it. All I could feel was fear, angst, and worry that it would just be too much for me to handle. But I did what so many moms do with their guilt, I stuffed it down deep and buried it under layers of smiles and I’m ok’s.

It wasn’t until I joined MommiNation and met fellow mommy blogger Latrese aka @unapologetically_trese, that I realized I wasn’t the only mom that felt this way. She wrote a blog called “Oops, we did it again” sharing some of the same sentiments I had felt before. And it hit me: every surprise pregnancy isn’t immediately met with cheers and balloons and confetti. Sometimes it takes us moms a little more time to adjust to the thought of an unplanned growing family.

Ok so Latrese, lets get into your story now,

-You’ve experienced motherhood in so many different ways. Tell me about your journey to motherhood.

-How long were you trying to conceive before having Amina?

-Tell me about life before you got pregnant with Amina.

-What were some of your fears when you found out you were pregnant unexpectedly?

-What are some of the challenges you face momming three kids at three different ages and stages of life?

-What are some things you think you’ve learned as a “mom of a certain age”

-How has parenting this third time around changed you

-Do you think you’d want to try and have more kids after this?

-What advice would you give to any moms out there that have either already experienced a surprise pregnancy or will in the future?

There are so many days I look around at my family and I feel so overwhelmed with the blessings I get to call my children. Even though I swore I couldn’t do this, I look at Dallas all of the time and can’t imagine life without him He is most certainly living proof that God always has better plans for our lives than we do. I truly believe I had Dallas as a reminder to lean on God for my strength as a mother because before him I swore I could do it all myself. Now I know without a shadow of a doubt we’ve only gotten this far by His grace and mercy (lord knows there are days i’m certain one of us won’t make it to tomorrow mkay?!)

Because life doesn’t come with a manual, it comes with a mom,