Finding Joy While Grieving This Christmas

It’s been a tough few years filled with loss and grief. Not knowing how to process it especially when joy peaks in but I came across something that shifted my perspective while watching one of my favorite series and it said.
“Grief doesn’t have to disappear to make space for joy. They both can live side by side”. It made things clear and compelled me to share in a blog after years of not writing. So I share again with hopes of helping someone in finding joy while grieving this time of the year.

Christmas has a way of magnifying everything. The lights shine brighter, the music feels deeper and for those grieving, the absence can feel heavier than ever.

If you’re walking into this Christmas carrying loss of a loved one, a relationship, a season of life, or even the version of yourself you once knew please know that you are not alone, and you are not doing the holidays wrong.

Grief doesn’t pause for the holidays. And it doesn’t need to.

Grief and Joy Can Coexist

One of the biggest misconceptions I had about grief is that joy must wait until the pain is gone. However, grief doesn’t follow a straight line, and healing doesn’t mean forgetting.

You can miss someone deeply and still smile at your child’s laughter, likewise you can cry quietly at night and enjoy a nice cup of hot cocoa in the morning. In addition to feeling broken and still feel moments of peace.

Joy doesn’t erase grief it simply reminds us we are still alive.

It’s Okay If This Christmas Looks Different

Maybe traditions feel too hard. For me it felt that way. I didn’t have the energy to put together the Christmas tree or even decorate our home which I usually enjoy. However, I decided to push myself out of the funk and keep things minimal and manageable.

This is your permission slip to:

Say no without explaining
Simplify your plans
Create new traditions (or skip them entirely)
Protect your emotional energy

Remember Christmas doesn’t need to be loud or perfect to be meaningful.

Gentle Ways to Invite Joy In Without Pressure

Joy doesn’t have to be big. Especially in grief, small joy is still joy. So this Christmas I will cut a special piece of Jamaican Christmas Cake and enjoy the moment for my beloved cousin who is now my angel.

Try these soft ways to make room for joy:

Light a candle in memory of who you’re missing
Write them a letter
Do their favorite holiday thing
Play one song that comforts your heart
Let yourself laugh without guilt

You don’t owe anyone sadness, and you don’t owe anyone happiness. You only owe yourself honesty.

For the Moms Carrying Grief

If you’re a mom grieving this season, you may feel torn between your pain and your desire to create joy for your children.

Please hear this:
Your children don’t need a perfect Christmas. They need you. The present, honest, and loving you.

It’s okay to tell them, “Mommy feels sad sometimes, but I still love being here with you.” It’s okay to model emotions and show them that grief and love can exist together.