Single Motherhood – A Blessing Or A Curse

Being raised by a single mom who did not depend on her child’s father financially or otherwise, motivated me to become a financially independent mother.

Witnessing the journey of single motherhood and being an only child (for my mother) that yearned the presence of a father figure was a rocky journey. I created inner vows to not traverse a single mom journey nor have my children go through that emotional struggle as I did.

Single Motherhood, a journey I strongly tried to prevent but nonetheless it became my reality. I could not escape it but had to face it head on.

The very thing I feared turned out to be my biggest blessing!

 

Although a short journey, I was able to connect to my mother quite differently. With that being said. I give honor to two amazing single mothers in my life – my mother and my grandmother.

MY GRANDMOTHER

Sweet grandmother Carmen of nine children, with her firstborn passing at birth, is one of my role models for many reasons. Her dedication to keep her family unit together after the tragic passing of her husband is beyond admirable. Widowed with eight children without their father present, I can’t imagine the emotional, physical, and financial stress she endured. I wish she was here with us today to share her single motherhood journey and how she successfully raised eight children.

All smiles with grandma and my firstborn daughter – Nyomi

Such a beautiful, selfless soul she possessed. My grandmother left an indelible mark on her many grand-children and  great grand-children. She holds an incredibly special place in my heart.

Additionally, my mother would not be the mother she is to me, if it were not for the love, support and tutelage of my grandmother. As we know, it takes a village to support a mom and that my mother had.

MY MOTHER

Dear mother Sharon is the youngest of her siblings, a teenage mom with one daughter, and a physical abuse survivor. Another inner vow created and yet I followed a similar journey. I applaud her for her immense love, strength and total commitment to raise me to the best of her abilities and to never give up. Her hard work and sacrifice does not go unnoticed.

Let me add, her decision to halt her goals and aspirations to raise her daughter and accept her responsibility as a teenage mom is beyond admirable. I wish I was able to do the same.

 

Mother I thank you greatly.

Big love to your tribe of supportive women who has shown great love to me throughout my childhood years into adulthood and now as a mother. We are blessed beyond measure. 

My Childhood

I grew up in an extended family household in Jamaica with a mother who was very strict and overprotective. As a young child, I feared my mother. Yes I did. She was the typical no nonsense Jamaican parent. You may or may not know the saying, but as you slip you slide.

The typical school year was filled with school, ballet recitals, at home learning and more school work. Weekends were not much different. There were lots of chores and more book work at home. Summer vacations were filled with summer school and finally some fun with vacations in New York. Grandma did make things fun around the house with her delicious cooking. I enjoyed watching her in the kitchen. Especially when she baked my favorite – sweet potato pudding. Listen y’all it was the best and I miss it.  

One thing that stood out in my early childhood years was not being allowed to go anywhere without my mother. No sleepovers, playdates, school trips, nor birthday parties. Whether my cousin’s parents were taking their children it did not change a thing. I remember her clearly saying “I am your mother and I know what is best for you!” The lockdown got real when those teenage years kicked in…wooo chile! 

The Reality Of Things

Then I became a mother, and I totally got it. I understood without her having to explain why she did all the things the way she did.

My daughter, my mother and me – three generations of strong, motivated and determined women.

I am grateful that she instilled the value of education and the concept of work before play. In addition to the principle of living within your means and the will power to never give up.

Most of all, I thank my mother for never putting me in the position to ask any man including my father for money. This topic needs a whole blog for itself. So stay tuned.

Thanks for reading to the end. If you can relate to anything I have shared in my blog, please share your feedback in the comments below and let us connect on Instagram.

Can’t wait to chat with you mommies.

Until next time!

Mommi Roxi