“Are you carrying twins?”
“Is that a boy?”
“Why are you breastfeeding in public?”
“Have you seen the study on the negative effects of carrots?”
Okay, I made that last one up, but as a mom, I’ve heard it ALL. From the way I should change diapers to the way I should comb my child’s hair. I can’t be alone in this right? We DON’T want your unsolicited advice and some questions are just inappropriate!
I was in my happy place a couple of weeks ago AKA Target. Once I pulled my shopping cart to the line, I got frustrated as usual because I didn’t come for half of it but such is life (lol). As I’m placing things on the counter the cashier says “Are those your girls”. I stared at the imaginary camera to the side of the room and said huh? Yes, they’re my children. Then she proceeds to say “I didn’t want to ask if they were sisters because they look different”. PAUSE. . . At that moment I could feel Jesus saying “Antoinette, just breath”. I replied “SAME MOMMA SAME DADDY”. Then I thought, why does it matter?
I’m sure I’m not alone when I say some things should be left unsaid. I’m not sure if everyone was taught the “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it all.” The funny thing is when my husband is with me, I never get these crazy questions. If someone asked him this question they would be pushed into tomorrow because he would kindly curse them out. So why do people give unsolicited advice or ask thoughtless questions? My kids don’t have to look alike to be sisters. Nor does it pay your bills if they are or aren’t.
My mother is fairly light. My father is like a milk chocolate. So I’m this beautiful caramel with a splash of chocolate. Meanwhile my brother (who has the same parents), is about 4-5 shades lighter than me. My mother was questioned if my brother was my father’s child because of his skin color. . . Can we get over this? My children are two different shades as well. I embrace it and personally feel like I’m a rainbow maker because my womb can create all different shades and colors. However, why do we judge if the child isn’t the same color? It must be a different baby father or someone must’ve stepped out the marriage. Now if that’s the case then why does that matter either?
If we could get positive compliments instead of inappropriate questions, a lot of moms would be open to expressing themselves. Moms don’t want to talk about the good, bad, and ugly because we don’t want to be judged. You never know what that mom may be going through. Let alone what they may have been through. Unsolicited advice is NOT wanted.
Politely answer the question with a question. It’s ok to throw salt in a KIND way.
Exit stage left. “I’ve got to go, but thanks for the compliment”.
Give them your business card. You never know one ugly comment can lead to more business.
Seriously, a sense of humor goes a long way in dealing with inappropriate questions. Unfortunately us moms just have to have thick skin, or maybe our kids will do it for us. I’m sure you’ve had a child stick their tongue out from you staring too long. Be sure to follow me on Instagram for more crazy moments. Do you love Podcast? My husband and I host a Relationship Series. Listen here.
XOXO, Mommi Antoinette