Hopefully… ha, ha! (but really, they’ll survive)
Relinquishing responsibilities pertaining to the children when deciding to take a much-needed breather can be tough. It can feel as though you leaving them in a boat without a paddle… Many times, we are overworked, overloaded and overlooked in our mommy duties. This happens systematically because we usually aren’t willing to temporarily let go at our breaking points or ready to tap out when it gets to be too much. I say this constantly on my blog (guruwhoknew.com): “If you’re not good, you’re no good.”
For me, this is a constant work and I must put effort into making ME a priority without feeling like everything will fall apart. I used to stress out when my husband was on daddy duty because I didn’t feel confident that he would keep the kids’ schedule or if they would eat at their normal time or at all?! (real life, folks), etc. I had to reach a point within myself that allowed me to move past the over-analyzing of assistance.
The hard truth, lol…
Will they eat? Will they do their reading minutes?… probably not! And guess what?! It’s going to be ok! ACCEPT THE HELP!! Sure, they may eat gummi bears for breakfast, lunch and dinner while wearing an outfit that’s less than coordinated but everyone will survive. My husband will hold conference calls, play Pub G and be on the clock for the kids at the same time. This used to send me into a panic but I realized I have to let go and let him handle it. As horrifying as that sounds, it’s worth your preservation. You need to be refreshed to operate at your best! Whether is a husband, grandmother, friend or nanny, allow room for others to assist you when you need it and/or when it’s offered.
Here are a few ways to incorporate YOU time, overload release and constant replenishment to the normal family schedule:
Pick a day!
At least once a month, pick a day that you release all mommy duties and do whatever your heart desires and another second day of rest and replenishment! Make sure these days are scheduled like all the other appointments on the family calendar. Once you have created a “you day” and/or “rest day”, stick to it (this is the HARDEST part)! It’s easy to move past those days when the responsibilities are piling. If you don’t make those necessary days habit, you end up doing a disservice to yourself. I used to get so mad when my husband would make a hard stop when he felt overloaded. I realized that I was truly jealous because he had the boldness to pause for a needed regroup; and was very unapologetic about it.
Share the load…and the list!
Help can happen with a simple “can you…?!” Breaking down what you need and asking for assistance can be the breakthrough you need to get through days with ease. I had to cut the foolishness and build confidence in my team (my family) that they could handle it. You can share your grocery list and divide folding duties as a start. Even the tots can help with tasks like matching socks and it be considered fun! Lighten your load by asking for help and finding ways others can assist you. This will decrease the amount of time you spend overwhelmed.
Leave the House!
While I love my bed and enjoy wallowing around in my comfiest clothes or his, lol, I realized that I wasn’t getting a true woosah moment being at home. I would “add guidance” on completing tasks and would end up doing it (I’m type A, can’t you tell?! Lol). Truly, I simply couldn’t rest because I would be too concerned about what was going on and how things were being done. I have found that leaving the house helps me to detach from the home and allows my husband to really immerse himself in surviving the day, ha, ha! How will your family learn if you don’t give the opportunity for growth? It may sound scary, but these are the times when your family will surprise you most with their abilities. Letting them spread their wings creates a healthy balance for you and provides freedom in new areas constantly.
Put some of these tips in motion to start prioritizing yourself today! Be sure to follow on all social media platforms @guruwhoknew and visit guruwhoknew.com for more! Until next time MommiNation family!