“Nobody can ever love you like I do. Not because they won’t try, not because you aren’t worthy but because I am your mother.”
I remember hearing this growing up and as a teenager I thought those were such narcissistic words to say. No one will EVER love me like my mama? NO ONE?!?! The thought of it scared me because I knew I wanted to get married, have kids, you know LIVE.
I get it now, especially as a mother of 3. My mom wasn’t saying that no one will love me, in fact she was very hopeful that someone would so I could leave her house, truth be told…LOL. What she was explaining to me is that the bond between mother and child is unexplainable, unimaginable and unbreakable. (Before you hit me with the, “but my mama aint…” I’m only speaking from my perspective)
As a little girl my mother and I were super close. My father was a Marine, so he was gone most of the time and my brother and I just clung to my mother. I mean I looked up to her for everything, still do. She was always so well put together, immaculate if I must say, from her hair to her toe nail polish, baby Teresa has been FLY all her life. Not only that though, my mother has never met a stranger. Her smile and sweet Southern disposition immediately pulls people in. If you don’t like her, there is something wrong with your soul, IJS. I always wanted to protect her, even as a little girl. I knew I never wanted to see her hurt or disappointed in me. That was until my teenage years.
As a teenager, well let’s just say we weren’t as close. In fact, from about 15-18 we couldn’t stand each other. That’s not what most moms or daughters want to hear but you know I’m only here to speak the truth. I didn’t like her and she didn’t like me. The LOVE was there but the “like” … yea that wasn’t around. We were too much alike and I was a GREAT (ok maybe just good) kid. I felt like her expectations of me, even when I was active in school, an honor student, working; were too much. In my eyes she wanted perfection and I’m like… I just want to be a kid. The pressure she put on me is honestly what has made me successful today. She never allowed me to be ok with mediocrity, to continue to push myself past my preconceived limits. Teresa believed in me long before I believed in myself, I just didn’t see it because I was a “think I know everything” kid.
It wasn’t until I moved out at 18, YEP I WAS OUTTA THERE, that our relationship truly began to blossom past mother and daughter. She will always be my mom but around the age of 20, I began to realize she was my best friend. The first person I wanted to talk to in the morning (now I like to talk to my kids and hubby first but she is the next call… EVERY MORNING … don’t judge me)
We have been through it all TOGETHER. She has seen me at my very best and at my absolute worst. She knows my likes, dislikes, my loves and the things I despise. This is an unpopular thing to say and I’m sure some “My husband is my everything” wives will be appalled but she knows me better than ANYBODY else. That’s not a slight to my husband, its just purely based on her proximity to me my ENTIRE life.
We are at an interesting place in our life now because as we both get older, our conversations are deeper, more intense and soul searching. I am her confidant just like she is mine. Of course, there are things I simply can’t share with her because I know my mama, she can hold a grudge when it comes to her child. Ill be over a situation and she’ll still be like “I’m good love, enjoy”. She rides for me… through and through!
I couldn’t imagine life without my mother, I mean who else has been with me my entire existence. She pours into me when I am feeling not myself. She is fair, she will call me on my BS and let me know when I am in the wrong and when I should make amends. Trust and believe she is not my “yes” girl. Teresa plays no games and has a strong motto “Right is right, wrong is wrong”. Even with that, though, her criticism may sting at times however, I know its always meant to make me a better woman, wife, and mom.
She is the prototype to me. Not perfect by any means but a glowing example of perseverance, strength, unwavering love, beauty, grace, sass, intelligence, and so much more. She is my best friend, not because she has to be, but because I want her to be.
Life is more beautiful because of you. I know that no matter where life takes me, I have someone by my side who loves me unconditionally, without question. Thank you for being the example by which I can only pray I am mimicking. I am blessed that God chose you to be my mother and me to be your daughter. Today and every day, I honor you not just for what you have done but for the amazing woman you are.
Forever your Missy