The day I became a Mom was nothing like I expected!!!

I was fortunate to be in the delivery room with my sister 6 months prior to giving birth myself and watched her push my nephew out like a G! With no medication, and although I won’t deny she was in excruciating pain, she did make it look easy.

I had serious anxiety about delivery prior to that day because my other experience in a delivery room was with my cousin Yolande, and it was very different. She was in labor for what seemed like forever, cursed out the doctors and was on all fours at one point, it was traumatizing!

But now I was ready!!!!

My mom also delivered both my sister and me naturally and I just knew I had a higher pain tolerance than her…. well so I thought lol!

MY BIG DAY

Deucey’s delivery date was August 17th and my sister-in-law was graduating from Texas State and asked us to host her party on August 12th! She begged me not to go into labor a week early and I tried everything to hold on but Deuecy decided, Aunty Kia’s graduation day was the perfect day to make his debut.

I arrived at the hospital and I started preparing for giving birth like a race. I was stretching, running laps around the halls and talking trash.

Then the contractions started to really come!!!!

Every minute.

I used all the tools I had learned from sports, go to a happy place, breathe, relax. It would be over soon.

After about an hour of suffering, I remember the doctor saying that when it felt like I had to poop it was time to push.

I NEEDED TO POOP

It was time, I was sure of it!

Doc, check my cervix again. I’m 10 centimeters. Deucey will be out in 5 pushes, just like Slade (my sister’s son)

She checked my cervix, took a minute and said you’re 3 centimeters, as I write this I giggle, but at that moment I literally thought I was going to kill her!

THREE CENTIMETERS.

I turned to my husband and screamed, “I’M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT!”

MY NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE

How did my Mom and sister do this? I know I’m no punk, I ran one of the toughest races on the track, had multiple surgeries, painful injections, torn muscles, a painful auto-immune disease, I mean I had experienced A LOT! Why was delivery kicking my butt?

My mom, sister, and hubby all tried to console me as the tears poured out and I, still on the top of my lungs, explained all the reasons I wouldn’t be able to survive this delivery.

I was in excruciating pain and while I was trying to process the fact that Deucey was nowhere near ready to come the contractions were still coming every minute.

I begged for an epidural and when they told me the wait time would be 45 minutes, I turned into Yollie! “No ma’am, that is unacceptable. This is a hospital, I need an epidural and I need it NOW!” I was upright with a needle in my back within minutes and finally able to have a little break from all the pain.

My doctor recommended I try to sleep for a few hours and she would come back and check in with me. I was able to fall asleep pretty quickly. When she came back she checked my cervix and I was about 6 centimeters dilated! Yes, making progress.

NOT SO FAST

When she came back in and checked again within an hour she didn’t tell me the measurements and instead talked to the staff. I knew something wasn’t right. Deucey had gone back up and I was measuring closer to 3cm again! She recommended I do an emergency C-section. I was devastated! I always wanted to give birth naturally and vaginally. I had gotten past the fact that I did my best but wasn’t able to give birth without drugs, not I wasn’t going to be able to push him out at all!!!

Not what I envisioned.

I was rolled into the room and I’m sure the combination of nervousness, anxiety, and disappointment coupled with the fact that I was laboring for while resulted in my uncontrollable shivers on the table.

Deucey was here, I thought for sure when I saw him for the first time I would burst into tears but I smiled and literally fell asleep.

IT WAS ALL WORTH IT

When the medications wore off and I finally woke up in the recovery room, I remember them rolling in my son with Ross right behind him. I was so emotional. It was finally time to officially hold my sonshine! The tears came pouring down, as they are again now, and I fell madly in love!!!

My journey to motherhood wasn’t what I expected but in the end, none of it mattered! I’m so grateful that my son is here, healthy and strong and that I am alive and well to be able to experience it. There could have been a very different outcome abd it happens all the time so don’t sweat your delivery, don’t worry if it punked you a bit, the blessing is you and baby are here!

Happy Mother’s Day

Love Mommi Sanya