So, when did this happen? -Like when did we fall out of love, I’m not sure or are we asking when did we decide to get a divorce?- If this is the question, are we talking the first, third or tenth time this has been the topic of discussion with various marriage therapists?
Why?- Well, I suppose that depends on which one of us you ask, but the most politically correct answer would be, “irreconcilable differences.” Why are we keepin it so PC?-In my Destiny’s Child voice* “I’m better than that, I’m not gon’ diss you on the internet, ‘Cause my momma taught me better than that!”
How did this happen?- I know right, didn’t we appear like such the quintessential couple on Instagram about a week ago with all the #couplegoals #blacklove #blackfamily. We did one hell of a job painting a picture, didn’t we? But like Pastor Mike Todd of Transformation Church said, “Integrity can’t be instagrammed and faithfulness can’t be displayed on Facebook”
Although I’m making light of the situation (more than likely as a coping mechanism), the anxiety and heartbreak that comes from the anticipation of an impending dissolution is devastating. Trust me, it’s the polar opposite of the euphoric feeling that comes from…well whatever popped into your mind as you began reading this post! Rather the initial blow of a divorce can bring-forth feelings of despair, grief, insecurity and has the potential to adversely affect not only the individuals involved, but children and other family members as well. Now that’s what plagued my mind, day in and day out; that’s what caused me to lose sleep and sob uncontrollably to my most trusted friends. There’s no escaping the reality of the situation, but each day I’m learning the importance of processing, accepting accountability, forgiving, and being intentional about self-compassion.
Finally, as I go and grow through this crazy transitional phase in life, I remind myself that in order to truly heal, I must prioritize myself; hell, even the flight attendants on an airplane instruct you to secure your oxygen mask first in order to be more equipped to save your precious cargo. The same is true when facing a divorce. So, cry when you need to cry, laugh when things are funny and love in spite of it all.