Am I the only one who plays dead when I hear a jiggle of the door knob from the minis during adult “playtime”?! Oh, just me?! Ok… I remember walking in on my parents as a tot and I am utterly mortified at the thought of a repeat, ha, ha!!
The third wheels that bear our last name are always playing interference and they are at the top of their game! While we love our minis, alone time is so vital and important in the progress and continual bliss in a marital relationship. Finding ways to make ensure quality time happens regularly can become a task in a full house. Being purposeful and setting boundaries is where it’s at! I’m calling shotgun, so you can get you some! Did you like that?! Good, Let’s do this:
Setting boundaries is the number one way to ensure alone time and will enable you to plan ahead to reconnect and recharge your relationship. Set a “wake-up and emerge” time for the minis that works for your household. Ex: Weekends “wake-up and emerge” time in our house is 8:30am. This means that if you wake up earlier than this time, you must stay in your room until 8:30am (reading, playing, etc.). Once 8:30 am arrives, you are free to roam the halls and knock on our door. This works great and gives us a moment to ourselves and aids in the transition into parent mode peacefully. Even if you are single with minis, this will be a great addition for your sanity and overall balance in the day. It is tricky at first but being consistent will yield adherence. Look at you winning!
Another way we set boundaries is sharing when we will have in-home date night with our kids. I usually continue to remind them to get them mentally conditioned to NOT ask “can we watch the movie too?”, “can we play the game with you all?”, “can we stay up a little longer?” etc. on that particular day or evening. When you lead by example in showing how important your time alone is, your children will honor that. Here’s the kicker though, when it’s time for their date, they will constantly remind you AND make sure there’s no interference, ha, ha!! Interesting how the tables turn! Although funny, this is actually good because it teaches your children informally how to keep commitments, enjoy family time and how to value one another and those they love individually.
Making them a part of your alone time is also reverse psychology that works magic! Asking your children to create something special or help fix your hair for your alone time is a great way to make them feel a part without them crashing the date. If we have movie night, I’ll ask my son to make dessert for us (he’s six, so this consists of Nutella and graham crackers or a cut open popsicle with Fiskars, lol) or request my daughter provide a musical selection before they exit stage left. By them feeling apart, I notice they don’t return for water, odd philosophical questions or extra hugs to crash the party. They actually look forward to the next day because they want to hear how much we enjoyed the part they played in making the magic happen!
Boundaries are important to quality time and can open even more possibilities in reconnecting beyond family life more frequently! Be sure to follow @guruwhoknew on all social platforms and subscribe to www.guruwhoknew for related topics and more!
Until next time MommiNation family!